A good marriage is the foundation of the successful family.  

Proverbs 18:22

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Now the word thing does not appear in the original text and was added by the translators, therefore the verse should read AHe who finds a wife finds good, and obtains favour from the Lord@.  

Good is the Hebrew word towb which means: good, pleasant, agreeable, excellent, rich, prosperous, good understanding, right.

Favour is the Hebrew word ratsown (raw-tsone) which means will acceptable, delight, pleasure or goodwill.

Therefore we may translate this verse as: He who obtains and earnestly seeks to have a wife finds she who is good, pleasant, agreeable, excellent, rich, of good understanding and who is right, and in so doing obtains the favour, acceptance, and will of God who will express to him His delight and pleasure in their marriage.

A good marriage has many different keys that make it strong, these include:

Prayer

Marry your best friend

Communicate

Patience for one another

Say something nice to each other each day

Be best friends first

Stay honest with each other

Be true to your heart

Trust

Love

Laugh along with each other, not at each other

Understand

Cherish each other

Give 100%, no marriage ever succeeded on 50%

Always have an open mind

Compromise

Never go to bed angry at the other

               THE FOUNDATION OF MARRIAGE

Please give special heed to the Word of God Ephesians 5:22-31 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. These are the Words of God that the Holy Spirit will honour as you place them before you and stand upon them in faith. Marriage is much more than a legal binding contract, (a contract has limited liability) it is a spiritual covenant, an unbreakable covenant (covenant has unlimited liability). A covenant means: a strong commitment, loyalty until death.

God has enabled man to make and keep covenants with Him and with others.

2 Timothy 1:12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 

 2 Corinthians 3:4-6 And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward: 5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; 6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. 

The first marriage covenant was spoken by Adam over Eve as God presented His creation to him for his care and keeping. Thus establishing the pattern for all marriage covenants to come.

 Genesis 1:26-28 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 

Here the Lord shows what His commitment to man would be forever, His covenant, which says that man is ever to be exactly like God. He created man to be creatures of integrity, so that covenant was build right into his inner being. That was the reason the moment Adam saw Eve the words he spoke to her were those of eternal covenant.

 Genesis 2:21-25 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.  23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.   24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

When Adam spoke these words he was proclaiming that no longer should man just be a single identity, but like his creator man may be a triune being, not only having spirit, soul, and body, but also having the outward expression of three, God, Man and Woman become one in spirit.

Notice what Adam says upon seeing Eve, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. When you examine the scripture closely you find several interesting things beyond his proclaiming covenant.

First you find that Adam was looking for what was missing within himself, AThis is now@. Adam knew that he was not complete until that very moment. He knew that what he required and actually desired was now given over to him.  This is born out in verse 18 when God Himself says Athat it is not good that man should be alone; I will make for him a help meet@ or an aid or one who surrounds. So Eve was to surround her husband, but surround him with what. Adam answers that in what he says next, Abone of bones@the word bone means: essence, the very life, the strength@ so he was saying Athis is now is the very life I require, the essence of my being, that which will be my strength@.

Then he said she was Aflesh of his flesh@ or she is the one who will share in all that is vital to me, all that I am she is, my covenant shall be with her and ours will be with God. So Adam actually performed marriage vows there before God as their witness. From that point forth mans duties were changed, from looking after the garden, to replenishing the entire world.

Notice to the word both, meaning that before God there was equality, husband and wife were in fact the same in the eyes of God, as seen in Genesis 5:2.  Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.  In doing so God was recognizing the covenant of marriage that was put into place by Adam and Eve.

The marriage covenant is based upon the principles of the Word of God and formed in the heart through the power of  Love, Faith, Acceptance and Forgiveness, it is only through the practice of such will you ever endure and grow with one another. When you come into agreement of such a covenant and base it upon the Word of God then the power of God goes into action ever keeping your covenant from being broken.

The miracle that takes place in this covenant is the formation of oneness. The Word declares that a man and his wife become one. This is an act of the spirit within faith causing the miracle of being one. This oneness remains forever. Should the union be broken  and the one return to being two then the spirit broken and the heart damaged, therefore the power of God is required within the covenant enabling you to keep it forever. Should the covenant be made upon unfaithfulness within your word then the seed of destruction is already placed within your marriage and this covenant will not have any validity.

As God through His Word has shown you an example of a unwavering ever faithful covenant to all who will have faith in Him, so must your covenant with one and other be, just as unwavering and ever unchanging through your profession of faith in each other. Just as He loved us without condition, you too must love each other with a complete unconditional love. A love without conditions is a love that will pass all the tests, trials and circumstances that you will face together. But keep that in mind, together you will endure when necessary and prosper at all other times for the love of each other is your bond of faith within each other.

Just as God accepts us for who we are not what we may become, never demanding or forcing us to change, you also must accept each other for who you are, accepting one another as they are causes strength in the other to improve on their strong points and allows that one to change (on their own) their weakness’.

The power of all unions is that of forgiveness, God showing us His forgiveness by sending Jesus to become our saviour and wiping clean all that we committed against Him that was hurtful. Then too, forgiveness must be the cornerstone of your marriage, through a readiness to forgive you instill into your lives a guard from that which may be hurtful.

Marriage then is your covenant of Love, Faith, Acceptance and Forgiveness, a covenant that is unbreakable.

Let us examine each of these on their own.

                                         LOVE

Who can really define love, for it is an ever changing, always growing powerful force. Created by God to bring all closer to Him and to one another.

We know from scripture that there are two kinds of Love, agape and phileo. Phileo love is responsive love, love that responds to a some kind of stimulus.  Most people experience this kind of love when they first meet another, but it cannot be the kind of love that one bases a marriage upon. Phileo love will be shown throughout the marriage but can never be the foundation of the Christian marriage. It is an expression of agape love. Love is in the nature of man, corrupted love is hate, it is Gods nature to love. Therefore it is our nature to love, for we are created in His image, His very nature. His nature is agape love, or love in action.

John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Love will produce action, it will consider the other before self and it find a way to produce the desire result from the nature of the giver.

That is a very important point the nature of the giver, some may say that it is not their nature to be kind, or patient, or loving but that is a lie from the devil. For any who have Jesus as their Lord of their life have received the nature of God within their hearts by the giftings of the Holy Spirit. Therefore your nature is God=s nature. What God is so are you.

 1 John 4:17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 

How is the agape love of God placed within our hearts, just go back two verses.

1 John 4:15-16 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

Agape love is prefect love, you say Ano one is prefect@ yet if God says it can be so then it must be so. He would not make a statement that cannot be. 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

So then what is prefect love. The word prefect is the Greek word ATΈΛΕLOS@ telios which means, brought to it=s end, finished, wanting nothing necessary to completeness, complete in conformity.

So to have perfect love, is to have love that is completely finished, love that only could have been created by God. The God kind of love or Agape love.

 1 John 4:7-8 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.  8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

From this we find that this love is the kind of love that requires action, it cannot be a passive love, it must be an aggressive love. It is a love that:

Proves that God is with us and we with Him.

It is love of sonship, or that of fellowship.

It is the evidence required as proof of our knowing God.

It is the evidence of the other parts of the covenant in action.

For the best description of agape love we must turn to:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,  5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;  7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

1} Verse 4, suffers long means this love is patience, is passive love, not in a hurry.

2} Verse 4, love is kind, kindness, love in action, never acts rashly or harmful, never abusive.

3} Verse 4, love envieth not, generosity, love in competition

4} Verse 4, love vaunteth not itself is not puffed up, humility, love in hiding, no parade or boasting

5} Verse 5, does not behave itself unseemly, courtesy, love in public, always polite, never rude, at home or ease in all classes of people.

6} Verse 5, seeks not her own, unselfishness, love in essence,  quintessence of love (loves in its most purest and essential form)

7} Verse 5, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil, good tempered, love in disposition, never irritated or resentful.

8} Verse 6, righteousness, love in conduct, hates sin, never glad to see another fall, always gladden by good things occurring to others, always slow to expose and judge, always eager to believe the best.

            9} Verse 7, sincerity, love in profession, never boastful, always leaves the impression of exactly what is true.  

The next part of our covenant is that of:          FAITH

One definition of  faith is trust, one cannot have any kind of marriage without trusting their partner.

Trust is: the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability and surety of a person, it is the confident and continual expectation of the fulfilment of one’s word. It is the confidence and surety of a good future. It is the committing of one’s self to another based strictly upon ones word and reputation. It is the care of one’s hope placed within the heart another.

It this reason that one’s faith is shaped into something that may grow when trust is honoured or destroyed when trust is broken. No marriage can be successful if one of the partners has no trust within the other. Now many have lost trust with their partner and have had great attacks upon their hearts, we will examine this later in the study.

Another definition of faith is: the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person and their promises. This is why it becomes very important for one to stand guard over the vows they make when they get married, for their word is their bond of faith. If your word is worthless then so will your marriage become for you will not honour what you proclaim, causing riffs in the heart of your partner. This is the place most marriages fail, those who will not honour their word to their partner.

The covenant of marriage must be establish with faith, no marriage can become everything the partner’s desire without faith being applied. For as with God it is impossible to please either Him or your partner unless faith is applied in all that is said and done.

 Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Hebrews 11:6 (Wuest Version) ” Now, without faith it is impossible to please Him at all. For he who comes to God must of the necessity in the nature of the case believe that He exists, that He also becomes a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him out.”

Hebrews 11:6. [ a expanded verse by R.  Kalenuik ] AWithout  faith, a firm persuasion, a moral conviction, reliance upon Christ and constancy in the profession of Christ and His system of truth, assurance, confession, faith and fidelity. It is impossible, you become unable, you could not do anything, to please, or gratify entirely, GOD,  Jehovah, Father and Creator of all you are and shall become, the one who supplies for you your every need. He who is , was and shall always be. The great I AM, He who answers every request and grants your every desire, He has given over to you His very Son that you may be free from all the works of the enemy. He who has destroyed the thief from adversely affecting you. You must approach, come near and visit, worship, assent to, come unto, consent to, draw near to and go unto Him, you must believe, be needful, committed to, and find it necessary to trust in the fact that He is all and everything. However not only that He is all and everything but also in the fact that He is a rewarder, a remunerator, a gift giver, a prize awarder, a refunder of goods lost or stolen and that He brings adequate compensation to you, one who has justified you and brought unto you profitable and lucrative return for this faith. As  well as for seeking  after, for thoroughly investigating, demanding, craving, worshipping, enquiring, requiring, for committing to a careful and diligent search of Him.@

                                 ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance is the act of taking or receiving something offered. Thus acceptance in marriage is the act of receiving the other as they are. Many people believe that once they marry they will be able to change the other into what they desire. This is wrong, if who you marry is not what you desire after, long for, seek to be with, is not completely acceptable in your sight when you marry, don=t marry.

Each partner offers to their mate themselves as they are, they cannot be something they are not for they will soon be discovered and a lie will be revealed. One cannot and should not place upon their mate pressures to change, we accept our partner in their entirety, flaws, disappointments and all.

Now God has placed a simple system to cause change within our mate, that system is simply prayer. We should never try to change our mate into what we want them to be but rather pray that God creates within them what He wants them to be. This may mean we will have to change before our mate does.

Acceptance says Ano matter who you are, what you have, or where we end up. I will love you@. When one is ready to receive one does not place conditions upon how they receive, they just reach out and take what is offered. Thus in marriage one readily accepts their mate as they come, with the good or not so good qualities.

Acceptance also means allowing your partner to grow, explore areas that become new and exciting to them, and going along with them even though it may not suit you exactly, or is not the method that you may choose to follow.

One of the best way to show another acceptance is to walk in compassion. The Hebrew for compassion is racham which means “to fondle, to love, to find, have, obtain, show mercy, to have pity.

The Greek words are splagchnizomai this means “to have the bowels yearn” and eleeo which is “to receive compassion by divine grace”. This is what moved Jesus, the very heart of God went out from Him when he saw the people overrun with the enemy.

Jesus did nothing without compassion, yet He accepted everyone just as they were. They received what they required from the Lord because of His acceptance of them.

The best definition of compassion is: to experience what another undergoes and have the power to change it. Acceptance of a person’s weaknesses and strength shows forth the compassion and understanding that is required to make your life in marriage successful.  Jude 20-21 But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, 21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. 22 And of some have compassion, making a difference:

                                 FORGIVENESS

The remaining element necessary to make a successful marriage to the powerful instrument of forgiveness.

Without a willingness to forgive no marriage will last beyond the honeymoon, some not even that long. We must remember that everyone will make mistakes, and it is the forgiving of those mistake that will keep us free, no matter how great the mistake maybe.

Forgiving causes hope to rise up within the heart of your mate for it brings a release in the heart, in fact that is exactly what forgiveness means. It comes from the Greek word žφεσις (aphesis) which means to release from bondage or imprisonment. Who is in bondage, both the person who does not forgive as well as the one who does not have forgiveness granted to. Forgiveness as already stated builds hope within the heart of the mate.

Hope anticipates that which is good, genuine, real, sound and valid. Hope knows that the substance of its desire is gotten only through genuine, real faith. Faith which is sound, complete, entire and flawless in the Word., Faith which has been validated by the Word through the blood of Jesus. Faith which is authoritative, binding, effective, effectual, satisfactory, and satisfying.

Romans 8:24‑31

24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? 25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it. 26  Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.  28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. 31 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

Hope is built on four major ingredients:

Harmony: to be in accord or agreement with. When one is in complete agreement with the word of God, hope becomes the action by which faith can work. The words of your mouth and the meditations of the heart must also harmonize with the Word. The prayer of agreement gets its power from to people harmonizing together, agreeing that God’s Word will create the desired answer.

Optimism: the doctrine of, everything is ordered for the best. A tendency to look on the bright side. Hope bring an optimistic view point on all, God has our best in store for us and has blessed us with all spiritual blessing. Yes everything is going to come for the best, we are above ONLY.

Prospect: a future probability based on present indications. The chance of future success based on present facts. The fact is that Jesus has given us the brightest possible future. The present indication’s are A) Satan has been overthrown. B) Sickness and disease have no hold upon us now. C) We are seated on right hand on high with Jesus, therefore we can go right in to the throne room of grace, boldly. D) we have no need of worry or fear, for they too were defeated by Christ and everything that is named in heaven and earth must bow before the name of Jesus. E) We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. F) Our every need has already been supplied for us by God through Jesus. G) Every earthy and spiritual blessing is ours because of the death of Jesus, we can say that as he “is” we are also in this world.

Expectancy: to look forward to as a certain. In the Word there are certain facts that make it possible that we can look forward to a life of victory as a certain. When we apply the Word into any given situation, it becomes a certainty that God will perform His Word. No situation in life is hopeless for we have the Word to bring us into the certainty of a life full, rich, blessed, healthy, and prosperous.

Therefore hope is the catalyst of forgiveness, when applied in marriage this tool truly solidifies the heart toward one another.

            THE MARRIAGE ANALOGY

EPHESIANS 5:22‑23 The Word teaches about two kinds of love:  AGAPE and PHILEO.   Also the Word teaches how these types of love operate between people and God.  God loves you because it is His nature to love you.  He doesn’t love you based on anything you do or don’t do.  God’s love is based on His own nature and His nature is always to give.  Right now, God is aggressive toward you and abounding toward you in love.

You might say, “I’ve failed Him”.  It doesn’t matter.  His love isn’t based on what you do.  He first loved you.  You had nothing that He wanted.  You were lost in your trespass and sin, unfit, a child of the devil, and He searched out, found, and loved you.  That is real love.

God’s love for you is AGAPE love.  We talked about God being the aggressor in this relationship.  That is exactly what AGAPE love is.  AGAPE love is aggressor love.  It is always abounding.  AGAPE love, like grace, is always based on the nature of the giver.  God loves you because it is His nature. God doesn’t love you because you serve Him, and God doesn’t quit loving you because you fail Him.  He always loves you. It is His nature.

There is not one sin you can commit to make God quit loving you, because His love is not based on what you do.  He loves sinners, and they certainly are not doing anything to merit His love.  AGAPE love is an aggressive love.  It is always abounding, always producing, and it is never based on the receiver.  It is always based on the giver.

AGAPE love is glorified in PHILEO love.  When you respond, God is glorified.  God is abounding right now with all things that pertain unto life and godliness.  But what is it that pleases the Lord?  FAITH.  Faith is responding to His love. Faith is responding to His grace.  The Lord’s love for us is seen in the husband and wife relationship.  The husband represents Jesus Christ, the wife, the Church.  As Jesus Christ loves the Church, He is glorified when the Church responds.

Titus 2:11 says, FOR THE GRACE OF GOD THAT BRINGETH SALVATION HATH APPEARED TO ALL MEN.  Right now God’s grace is appearing to all men bringing salvation.  The sinner doesn’t have to earn or deserve salvation.  God’s salvation is FREE.  It is a gift in His hand.  God is always “aggressing” toward him with salvation.  And when the sinner responds, God is glorified.

The same analogy is set up in the husband and wife relationship.  Look at I Cor. 11:7; “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God; but the woman (wife) is the glory of the man (husband).  This does not mean that every woman is the glory of every man.  It means the wife is the glory of her husband. This does not mean that every woman is the glory of every man.  It means the wife is the glory of her husband.  Jesus Christ is glorified in His Church, and the husband is glorified in his wife.  The husband is used in the marriage relationship to typify Jesus Christ.  The husband is the aggressor.  The woman is the responder.

God is always aggressing, always abounding, and is glorified when we respond to Him.  he AGAPES toward us, and we PHILEO back to Him.  AGAPE love is glorified in our PHILEO love to Him.  In the Word of God, a woman is never told to love (AGAPE) her husband.  Husbands are told to love (AGAPE) their wives.  Titus 2:4 says, “That they (older women) may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.  Both times in that verse the word for “love” is PHILEO.  Respond to your husband.  Every time the husband is told to love his wife, the word “AGAPE” is used.  Do you know what that means?  Husbands, you are to love your wife as Jesus loves the Church.  You are to love her whether she looks pretty or not, deserves it or not.

In the Bible, young Christians are never commanded to love God.  When you first become born again, you have no capacity to AGAPE the Lord, you can only PHILEO Him.  There are Christians today, just born again, singing, “Oh, How I Love Jesus.”  Do you know why they love Him?  Because He answers their prayer, gives them possessions, and supplies all their needs.  That is PHILEO love, a responsive lobe.  Their love is based on something done to them.

You can tell when you have moved from PHILEO love to AGAPE love with the Lord when you no longer love Him simply because He does something for you, but because He is your Father.  He is God.  You would love Him even if He never gave you anything else.  That is mature love, AGAPE love.  This type of love comes through more knowledge of Him.

It is the same way with husband and wife.  When they first get married, they think they could never be more in love than they are at that moment.  But several years down the road, they begin to realize that what they had in the beginning was just puppy love compared to what they have now.  The more you get to know her, the more you love her.  The more she gets to know, the more she loves you.

The more I get to know my heavenly Father, the more my “PHILEO” love matures into “AGAPE”.  I can only experience this type of intimacy with Him through His Word.  I have the ability in me to love God.  His nature has been infused into my nature, and His nature can flow out of me.  I now have the ability on the inside of me to love people the same way God loves.  I can now love people, despite what they do or don’t do.  If they love me, or slap me, it doesn’t change my love because I have “AGAPE” love for them.  “AGAPE” love is based on my nature, not theirs.

The World can’t have AGAPE love because it is super natural love.  The best the world can have is PHILEO, a rapport love. God likes PHILEO love.  He likes you to be friends with Him. He enjoys being a friend with you.  The world says, “I’ll love you if you love me.  Treat me right, and I will treat you right.”  But what happens when one fails the other?  The whole basis for the relationship crumbles.  Too many marriages are built on PHILEO love.  God has promised believers a supernatural marriage in Eph. 5, a marriage that will not fall apart even in the worst of circumstances.

VERSE 22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

Submission is a most misunderstood word.  It has been abused until many people today shy away from the use of the word. The problem comes from a lack of understanding the difference between SUBMISSION and OBEDIENCE.  They are not the same.

SUBMISSION is an ATTITUDE.  Obedience is an ACT.  When a husband demands that his wife submit, he usually is telling her to obey.  The husband has turned into a dictator, a master.  Jesus is never a dictator.  A wife does not have to obey, but she is to submit at all times.  If the husband demands that the wife not to go to Church, she should still go.  In love, she should respectfully decline his demand.

“If ye be willing (submissive) and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land.”  (Isa. 1:19).  “Jesus HUMBLED (submitted) Himself and became obedient unto death…” (Phil. 2:8). Rebellion is not a lack of obedience.  Rebellion is an unsubmissive attitude in a person, even though he might obey. I would much rather a wife, employee, or congregational member be submissive and not obedient, than to be obedient and not submissive.

The reason we can be submissive and obedient both to the Lord is because He is always right.

We are to be submissive to our government (Rom. 13:1,5), but not always obedient.  If our government told us not to witness anymore for Jesus, we should not obey it.  That violates God’s command to us.  (Mark 16:15).  We should still be submissive towards them and not rebel.  The disciples faced this same situation, as recorded in Acts 5:27 ‑ 29 and 40 ‑ 42.

The best marriage exists when the husband does not violate God’s Word in his headship to the home.  Many husbands do not give their wives anything to respect.  Even submission becomes difficult.  The main responsibility in the home is on the husband to love and provide for the wife as Jesus does for the Church.  The wife can then submit and obey in all things.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord”.  The husband is her lord in the NATURAL (Peter 3:6), just as Jesus is her Lord in the SPIRITUAL.  A wife is privileged:  she has two lords.  When a wife quits fighting her husband and submits to his lordship, she becomes doubly blessed and protected.  This again puts much responsibility on the husband to treat the wife as Jesus does the Church. Husbands, give your wife something to submit to.

AN ANALOGY ‑

VERSE 23 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church; and He is the saviour of the body.”

The Greek word for “saviour” means PROVIDER OF EVERYTHING. Just as Jesus Christ is the head of the Church, the husband is head of the wife.  Both the husband and Jesus Christ are providers of everything for their bride.  The husband should provide love, protection, finances, comfort, companionship and conversation.  That is what Jesus provides for His Church.

VERSE 24 “Therefore as the Church is subject (submissive) unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything (every situation)”.

Again, submission is always commanded in the Word.  Husbands should never use this verse to abuse their wives.  This verse is not teaching obedience in everything, but submission.  Wives are always to maintain a correct attitude of submission.

VERSE 25 “Husbands, love (AGAPE) your wives, even as Christ also loved (AGAPE) the Church, and gave Himself for it (Her).”

The Greek word here is not “it” but HER.  Jesus Christ gave Himself for the Church and there should be such an undying love in the husband wife relationship that the husband gives himself for the wife in everything.  When you give yourself, you give everything that belongs to you.  It belongs to the whole family.  Jesus never hoards anything.  I am a joint (equal) heir with Jesus and an heir with God the Father. Everything that belongs to the husband belongs to the wife and family.

VERSE 26 “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”

The Greek word for “word” is RHEMA.  Rhema is the spoken Word of God.  We are cleansed by the rhema, the spoken Word of God.  When we were born again, we were cleaned by the Word of God.  The communicating of the Word produces faith, for “Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word (RHEMA) of God.”  (Rom. 10:17).  When you speak the Word of God, you are cleaned by it.

The husband should speak words to edify the wife and encourage her.  She will receive correction quickly when she is constantly encouraged for here strengths.  Love‑making begins with words.  Edification during the day brings satisfaction at night.  Jesus Christ makes love to His Church through the Word.  When we receive His Word, He is glorified. There are many analogies in the Word of God between the sexual relationship of a husband and wife, and God’s love relationship with us through His Word.

VERSE 27 “That He might present it (HER) to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it (SHE) should be holy and without blemish.”

RHEMA takes out spots and wrinkles.  Marriage breaks down when communication breaks down.  Fellowship breaks down because communication is cut off.  As long as husbands and wives talk out their problems and differences and keep love as the motivating factor, they can work out all of their spots and wrinkles.  The little foxes spoil the vine.  Jesus’ end result for the Church will be glorious.  Forever we will be with Him in heaven, purified and cleansed, without spot or blemish.

The Church will not be totally without spot or blemish until we have gone through the judgment seat of Christ.  Then, and only then, will all of the wood, hay and stubble be burned out, and gold, silver, and precious stones be all that are left.   There will be those in the Church who have followed the Lord in a deeper way than others, and they will be as close to perfection on earth as possible.  There will also be a large number of new converts at all times in the Church, and carnal believers who will be babies.  The Church as a whole will reach total perfection at the rapture when we all receive a resurrection body, which will be without the nature of the flesh, and then stand before His throne to be judged.

VERSE 28 “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.  He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”

Husbands, you would wash your body and keep it clean.  Your wife is as much a part of you as your arm or leg.  She belongs to you and is a part of you.  you became one flesh when you accepted each other in marriage, just as you became one spirit when you accepted the Lord Jesus Christ in salvation.

You, as the Church, are the body of Christ.  When Jesus loves you, He loves Himself.  When the husband loves the wife, he loves himself.”

VERSES 29, 30 “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church.For we are members of His body, of His Flesh, and of His bones.”

Husbands, just as you take care of your own body by giving it food and love, you should take care of your wife in the same way.  You are to see to it that all of her needs are supplied.  The marriage relationship also helps us to understand the Godhead.  How can God be three, yet one?  How can a husband and wife be two, yet one?  The husband and wife are two separate people, but they have been joined in marriage to think and react alike.

God is three separate and distinct individuals Father Son and Hold Spirit yet, He is one in His thinking and reactions.  All of the members of the Godhead make up a team. Just as a sports team is made up of many members, yet they all strive for the same goal.  Each plays his part to attain that goal.

Jesus is not me, and I am not Jesus.  But we are joined together at the point of the new birth as the Head and the Body.  This is the same thing that happens in marriage.

VERSE 31 “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”

“This cause” is the joining together and becoming one flesh. Marriage is the very first teaching given in the Word of God. The Lord gave instructions to Adam and Eve that the man was to leave (the authority of) his father and mother and cleave to his wife.  I think it is interesting that in-laws were told to stay out of the couple’s affairs before in-laws existed.

“And shall be joined unto his wife” is a direct reference to sex.  Sexual relationship is the physical expression of being one flesh.  You and I have communion with the Lord because we are one spirit with Him.  The daily intake of the Word of God and praying in the spirit is an outward expression that we are born again.  Sex is for marriage only.  Praying in the Spirit, worship and praise are for believers only.

VERSE 32 “This is a great (magnificent) mystery; but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.”

This doesn’t mean that this is some mysterious thing that cannot be understood.  This means that this is a DYNAMIC mystery.  Marriage helps us to understand a tremendous spiritual revelation.  God’s infinite love can be more easily understood through the relationship of a husband and wife.

What if Jesus treated the Church like you treat your wives, husbands?  What if we treated Jesus like wives treat their husbands?  It makes you stop and think.  Jesus has set up an analogy in the natural world to show a spiritual truth. Women should submit to their husbands just as they submit to Jesus Christ; and, husbands should love their wives just as Jesus loves the Church.  With that kind of relationship the marriage cannot do anything but succeed.  There is no devil that can break up that marriage because Jesus said,..”I will build my Church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”  (Matt. 16:18).  With that kind of marriage relationship, divorce is not an option or a consideration.

VERSE 33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular (as individuals) so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

“REVERENCE” means HONOR, RESPECT and ADMIRE.  Wives, just as you honour, respect, and admire the Lord Jesus, you are to envision and love your husband.  Look at your husband and imagine that you are looking at Jesus, the provider of everything.  (Look at him in FAITH.)  You can have what you believe God for.  Husbands, start loving your wife as Jesus loves the Church.  She belongs to you.  She is part of you.

                         HUSBAND\FATHER

Father; not only one who is the originator or creator but one who cares for, protects, defends, provides, gives security and strength. He loves, shows kindness, charity, compassion, grace and mercy.

He is an example of God the Father create in His image. Any man who looks to emulate God as a father does himself and his family a great service.

A father is responsible to see that his wife and children;

A) Live in satisfaction, Psalms 103:2-13

B) Guide them in discernment, Eccl.2:26 (results of discernment)

C) Lead them in the knowledge of God Proverbs 2:1-7, Hosea 6:6 (fathers to teach)

D) Provide not only with the necessities but to leave them an inheritance Proverbs 13:22

E) To be an example of the salvation of God (to walk in the authority of  Jesus) salvation is deliverance, preservation, well being (prosperity) health and healing Timothy 3:15

F) They are to ameliorate (improve or make better) the quality of his family’s life Psalms 68:6

G) He is to increase the joy of his family, or he is to lead his family into the divine blessedness of God. Proverbs 15:23, 23:24

H) They are to lead and follow after the direction give to via the Holy Spirit of God Luke 11:13, Romans 5:1-5

I) He is to teach his family as how to be a blessing to others, or in other words the principals of being a giver. 2 Corinthians 9:5-11, Luke 6:38

God’s Plan For The Family The Woman

This is not going to a discussion on the role of the woman in today’s world.  Our intention is not to seek after whether a woman has a place in the working world or not.  It is a simply economic reality for most families.  What we do want to look upon is what her role may be in today’s family. And surprisingly it has not changed is its inception by God with the creation of Eve.  Her role remains the foundation or the bond of the family, which in fact is exactly what the word mother means, the bond of the family.

So then we look toward scripture to receive the knowledge of the Word regarding the wife just as we did for the husband.  hers as well as power none which she abuses.  She use h Proverbs 12:4, “a virtuous woman” what could she be?  this woman would be best described from the meaning of the word itself. She would be a force to be contented with as in the force of a army. She is one who shows forth strength and valour. Her strength can be found in her substance, riches are her power to bring praise to her family especially her husband.  This woman is settled in herself never struggling to find herself for she knows she and her husband make up all she is.

She is a woman of great intelligence, for she has settled the Word of God deep within her heart. Her struggles are settle at the gates of heaven so that when she enters the throne room she may do so boldly having nothing to weight her down.  She has learned to cast all her care upon the Lord knowing that He will look after the problem.

This woman has developed the ability to watch over and protect her husband.  Leading him from danger often when he is not even aware of it himself.  She likewise watches over her children leading and guiding and developing them into responsible adults.  She will never be found demeaning her husband or children.  Praise for her husband is all any other person will hear come from her lips.

Proverbs 31:10‑31, The charters of a virtuous woman;

(1) morally perfect  v11

(2) invaluable  v10

(3) trustworthy  v11

(4) inherently good & true  v12

(5) ingenious & proficient  v13

(6) thrifty  v14

(7) considerate  v15

(8) versatile  v16

(9) tireless  v17

(10) joyful  v18

(11) watchful  v18

(12) skilful  v19

(13) charitable or benevolent  v20

(14) generous or merciful  v20

(15) fearless  v21

(16) clever with interior design  v22

(17) refined in taste  v22

(18) respected and popular in the right circles  v23

(19) industrious and prosperous  v24

(20) dependable and honest  v25

(21) confident and hopeful  v25

(22) wise and discreet  v26

(23) kind and understanding  v26

(24) prudent and practical  v27

(25) energetic  v27

(26) an ideal wife and mother  v28

(27) honoured by her family  v28

(28) excels in virtue  v28

(29) God fearing  v30

(30) Deserving  v31

(31) honoured by the public  v31

The virtuous women’s husband has complete confidence in her.  He knows she is not wasteful and therefore has no hesitation in providing all she desires. He receives much blessing from tireless efforts in the operation of their home. There is great peace that is within their home because of his wife’s efforts he is therefore exalted amongst his associates. Her efforts never go unnoticed by him and he gives due praise, reverence and adoration to her.

This then is the woman the Word declares to be the right woman.  It takes nothing away from the woman as an individual or from her rights. It hold her in high praise.  If nay desire to be such a woman she need only to begin a life of belief, action and confession of just this type of woman.

 Gods Plan For The Family, Sexual Relations               

In an examination of the marriage one must never down play the role of each partner in their expressing their love for one and other in the act of intimate sexual relations.

Some may say that sex should not be discussed in a church.  However we say that if it had been openly discussed in the church, then Satan would not have had the ability to pervert it as strongly.  One must always keep in mind that God created it and it therefore should be examined like all other areas that he desires us to have victory in.

In order to examine this topic we must first go to the Word and see if there is any scripture strength for this discussion.

The most potent scripture text is one entire book which we will use as our bases for our discussion.  Look to the bible book known as the song of songs, the book of the Song of Solomon.  This entire book of 117 verses should be read and studied thoroughly by any couple desiring to marry.  But not only those, it should be considered a aid to marriage by all couples. When one faces down the enemy in his attempt to destroy ones marriage then this book should be used as the weapon to destroy the weaponry of the enemy.

The song of songs makes the reader realize from the very opening line that this one stands alone.  Many are the songs written about love and lovers yet no other has a comparison with them this is the SONG OF SONGS the song only true lovers can sing and harmonize with.

This then brings us to the statement then what is a true lover. The first clue comes from what you call your spouse. The word of your mouth will be the thought of your heart. If your “pet” names are a put down to your spouse then your attitude toward that person is not healthy and needs attention to correct it.

Solomon called the Shulamite “my love” that was the cry of his heart. Abishag was his heart’s desire, he wanted her to be the Queen of all the queens. First in his house of over 1000 women. “My Love” was not spoken once but many times. This is found in 1:9,15, 2:2,10,13, 4:1,7, 5:2, 6:4. the speaking forth of what your heart sees is the first and most important step in the lover’s life. True love see’s beauty even though others may not.

Notice to that Abishag calls Solomon “my beloved” 27 times in the book. The power of the heart always comes out of the mouth. The fact that couples call their mates nasty things during the heat of an argument usually refers to the fact that is what they have form as an opinion of their mate and have kept it hidden some place deep within.  It needs to be eradicated, for that seed may take root and grow into a destructive force.

Even her words of their intimacy are words that will create the desires effect. Look at 1:4, the word there love comes from the Hebrew word “dodim” which means love making. This is also found in verses 4:10 and 7:12.  Her words will begin the desired result. Today many people make comments about the love making of their spouse, but few speak words of praise or encouragement. Most speak of discuss, no fulfilment, and desire for others who are not their mates. Women refer to their husbands as lacking and leaving them longing for others like they see on tv. Men refer to their wives as cold and unattractive. If they would only see that what they speak over their spouse is what they become.  It is of great import that the other agrees with what the speaker says they are. The word says where two agree they shall have it.

Once we’ve spoken love into our hearts it must be kept in the fore most of one’s mind. This one is usually referred to as a romantic. To be romantic does not mean the bringing of flowers and candy alone. A romantic is the one who has learned to “communicate” romance with all he or she does. Communication of course begins with the words spoken over your loved one.  Romance is the action constantly used toward the loved one.

Romance has high ideals of what the other is. It is this ideals which the lover sees even though others may not. It is the clinging to these ideals which keeps the flame of passion burning throughout the marriage. We see the high ideals Solomon had of the Shulamite maiden. To him she was the most beautiful in all the land even though other saw her as nothing more than a grape vine dresser. A farmer. Solomon saw beauty. Romance’s ideals are the seeds of love and planted in the action of the lover’s.  Chapter 1:5‑11.

Romance is pure. Nothing can come between two pure loves. Romance will purify the one in the others mind. One may do the other wrong or even harm, yet if they are romantically involved with the other they will be quick to forgive and even to forget. Never remembering the hurt and never reminding the other of the hurt. The romantic sees only the pure. Purity is fidelity, neither would even have thoughts of not being true to the other. The romantic is secure in the other. There is never deceit, manipulation, or exploitation of the other, only purity.  Chapter 1:7 she is not secure in his absence.

The romantic is devoted to his (her) loved one. The devotion runs so deep that it becomes impossible to know if there is any separation between the two. No one devoted to another can live apart from that one. One devote to the other draws a life force from the other and imparts a life force to the other. The devoted one sets themselves apart and keeps themselves for the other. He or she deeply dedicated and consecrated to the other. They are ardent and zealous about their devotion.  The devote one will often see the beauty in the other even though the other does not. Chapter 1:14‑2:2.

The romantic is somewhat adventurous we say that our hero’s are romantic’s. The adventure of living life with someone whom we love must never wear in complacency and boredom. Even sexually, if there is no fascination with the other sexually there will be a tendency toward boredom and an opportunity for the enemy to sow seeds of discontent. Sex in marriage can and should be adventurous, something looked forward to and desired by both husband and wife. Sex outside of marriage is not adventurous. It is cheap, sinful and degrading. The adulterer seeks ways to hide the adultery and to ease the conscious. This is not adventurer it is discuss with self and the other person caught with in the adultery. The adventure in marriage is the continual desire to fulfil and complete the other, one can never become completely familiar with other when they are an adventurer. Chapter 4:1‑11.

The romantic is possessive of the other. There can be no sharing of him  or her. This is not jealousy, which is fear or suspicion of being displaced by another. To be possessive in this sense is to be protective, not desiring any harm from any source to come upon what is viewed as most precious. The romantic knows what is his (hers) own. He (she) has no desire to go beyond the scope or borders of this. He knows that possessing his own nurtures and edifies the other.  The other takes comfort and strength in this security.  No one owns the other but they do own the love that has been given to them from the other and so should be possessive of it. Chapter 4:12‑15.

They in turn welcome the moments of intimacy and encourage them. They seek to give over themselves more and more. The more romantically intimate a couple becomes the stronger their marriage becomes. The less likely are they to seek ways of destroying their marriage. Wives should encourage husbands and husband should encourage their wives in intimacy. Chapter 4:16.

The romantic is tender. He’ll speak words of tenderness. He’ll touch his wife tenderly. His sexual action will be of tenderness. His touch will be soft, his caress satisfying and delicate. To be tender is to sensible and sensitive. Aware of the needs of the other and attentive to those needs. Knowledgeable to what is displeasing and avoiding those areas.

The romantic would never consider themselves before the other. They are always aware of what the other is experiencing or undergoing and seek ways to relief those areas. The romantic tenderly and softly stands guard over the other and prevents others from harming or disturbing the other. Chapter 3:1‑5.

The romantic knows how to make and maintain the other in friendship. They are those whose marriage is strong when they are the best of friends. The romantic knows that through all and in all his friend will always be there. The sexual relations do not demean the friendship but strengthen it. The adulterous relationship always creates an enemy of the other. One views the other not as friend but as lover meaning simply that this is the with whom I have sex. No friendship, no kinship only loneliness and envy for the others spouse desiring that they could take the others place but knowing that it is not possible. Even in divorce if the other manages to replace the first the lacking of friendship will remaining for quite some time. The battle for trust is hard coming.

The romantic knows and clings on to his friend. Chapter 5:10‑ 16.

The romantic is kind. Not meaning that they have nice feeling toward the other but that they are useful to the other. A person of whom others place no value will also place no value in himself and therefore can be of no use to any. So then the romantic is kind always seeking to use his skills to the benefit of the other. Rarely seeking reward for their impute or work. They are happy to serve the other and look forward to every opportunity to do so. Their kindness shows even in their love making for they seek to fulfil the other and to do that which will. They are kind in that they will not make unreasonable demands on the other and will not lead the other into what they may not willing choose. The romantic knows that each are the others. Chapter 7:10‑13.

The romantic has no fear of committing for he knows that this will only lead to great happiness and joy. To commit to another is to seal the love that one has for the other. Most caught in adultery are not so and fear committing greatly. When one gives one’s self over to the other then they are committed if this is done in love then that love will grow and become strong. If it is done in lust then that will develop fear and attempt to destroy the one caught in it. There is no such thing as casual sex, the proper term is causality sex. For sex outside of marriage will make you a causality.

Those committed to one another will enjoy each other to the fullest. Will not allow anything past, present or future to steal away that which they share.  Marriage makes that seal permanent. Chapter 8:6‑13.

GOD’S PLAN FOR THE FAMILY, The Children       

Ephesians 6:1‑4, Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Colossians 3:17‑24, And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 22 Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: 23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; 24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  

Today we need to return to the family, to understand that the family is the establishment of the world. Much of the worlds focus is placed on the family today. Alberta has a February holiday called family day. The media portray the family in more and more events. The return to the family has captured the eyes of the world. They try their very best to establish what they believe to be normal relations within the family unit. This of course is difficult for many come from broken homes and do not know what normal even is. Only a relationship within Christ can bring what is normal.

However, we see even in the church today the worlds thinking prevailing in the family and not the Words thinking. One must centre themselves on the Word if their family has any chance of success in today=s world. Satan has not changed his goal of the destruction of the family unit. His desire is to see a continuation of single parent units. Knowing that one parent does not have the ability or the mandate to raise children alone. The mandate has been given to both father and mother. Most of the responsibility has been place on the father. Therefore if Satan can tear apart the family and have the father live away from the home unit he can bring into that home much of his evil work.

Many children today are growing up in such places without one of their parents. They then become resentful, bitter, lonely, rebellious, hateful, angry, disobedient, withdrawn, and much more. Children of single parent families feel great stress to grow up and move out believing that then they will have better lives. This of course is usually not true for if they are not set free from the many hurts and learn what togetherness is their own family units are doomed for failure and separation.

Parents who separate and bring upon their children such works of the devil are sure to answer to God for their actions. To offend and mislead and otherwise harm the children is viewed as having a milestone hung around ones neck. C\F Matt. 18:2‑6.

Parents caught in the middle of divorce battles usually use their children as weapons to bring hurt and resentment upon their ex‑mate. This is absolutely wrong and they will answer to God one for their action if they do not repent and seek forgiveness for it, even from their children whom they offend.

What of the family that does remain together. Well the first thing they must do is to practice much love within their home. Children watch and learn as to what the home should be.  If they see love they will grow in loving persons, if they in turn see anything else they will grow in to that.  A abused child usually grows in to a abusive parent.  A child in a house full of arguing will grow into a argumenative person. A child from a house of strife will carry that strife with him the rest of his life. This is of course it is not broken off of them and they then centre themselves on the Word to learn how to stay free.

Ephesians 6:1‑4, says to bring up a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Well what could this mean. First to nurture a child is to provide a wholesome living environment for them, this can only come from the Word of God. It is to provide a healthy life for the children, constant bickering and fighting is not such a life. Abuse is not such a life. To have a wholesome home is to provide a safe and secure home. Many children do not feel safe from the world in their own homes. Single parents must often leave their children alone enforcing the unsafe feeling. Today usually both parents must work to provide even the basics for their families. This too will cause the children to feel unsafe, to bring stress and worry on the children and rob the child of their childhood.

To have a wholesome home is to have a sound home. To have a sound home is to have one established on the Word. Children must learn the Word just as a adult, but they must learn it from their parent’s example. The parents who says “do as I say not as I do”  is no example to follow. It is not a sound home if you expect from your children that which you are not willing to do yourself.

It also says to bring up the child in the admonition of the Lord. This means that we are to correct are children when they are wrong. We see many parents today who allow their children to control them, even though the child is a destructive force in the parent’s life. He’ll grow out of it is poor parenting. For they never do grow out of it. Bad children grow into bad adults. Children need correction. To correct a child is to show affection, love and concern. Correction is not punishment, punishment is plain and simply revenge.

Now this is not to say that the child may not be disciplined and that discipline come in the form of spankings. Proverbs 13:24, to spare the rod is to hate your children, to use it wisely is to have the best interest of the child at heart. And that is what correction is all about.

Proverbs 22;15, Foolishness‑ is evil, silliness, perversions, and carelessness of body and soul. This must be driven out of a child. The rod will work as the form of deliverance. Proverbs 23:13‑14, This form of correction cause a child to grow and to realize that the principals of the Word are eternal life saving. It will cause the child to think before becoming involved in the works of the enemy and possibility losing his soul. The parent whom believes otherwise shows no love to his child and will share somewhat for their life. The child who rebels against the parent for this discipline makes the parent guiltless.

1 Timothy 3:4 and Proverbs 20:7 shows that the man of integrity brings blessing upon his children, this is how children learn integrity.

Proverbs 23:24‑25, The wise son is the one who was corrected and grew into wisdom. He shows forth the following characteristics.

Proverbs

A) Hears and obeys his parents        1:5, 23:24

B) Increase in knowledge              1:5, 12:15

C) Profits by example                 6:6

D) Profits by rebuke                  9:8, 15:31

E) Increase’s wisdom                  9:9

F) Is diligent in business            10:5

G) Welcomes commandments              10:8

H) Lays up knowledge                  10:14

I) Controls lips and tongue           10:10,17:28

J) Rules well becomes a leader        11:29

K) Is a soul winner                   11:30

L) Love the company of right people   13:20

M) Builds for the future              14:1

N) Departs from evil                  14:6

O) Utter knowledge correctly          15:2,7

P) Makes parents happy                23:15

Q) Seeks knowledge                    18:15

R) Not given to drugs and alcohol     20:1

S) Solves the problems of others      21:22

T) Increase in strength               24:5

U) Is law abiding                     28:7

V) Turns away from contention         29:8

W) Keeps free of strife               29:11

Confession of the Word over the children and the implanting of the word into them will cause them to grow in the son of Proverbs. This works for the daughters as well.

This then concludes this study in recapping we have found that the Husband is the head and spiritual leader of the home and should lead and guide his home just as Christ leads and guides the church. He is to love his wife and children and give himself for them as Christ gave himself to the church.  The husband has the responsibility to implant the word into his family and to hold the family together.

The wife is to submit to such a husband and will do so freely when he shows himself to be the example he is to be. That the wife and mother is the bond of the family and holds the family together. That she is to be a virtuous woman as indicated in Proverbs 31 and such a woman is worthy of love and respect.

We must always remember Psalms 68:6, where it says ” God setteth the solitary in the families: He bringth out those who are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”  God unites the family brings it together while Satan divides and destroys it. Go Gods way.

              VOWS, ALMS AND OFFERINGS

In this chapter we’d like to discuss the life of the giver. Giving is what causes a person to become  successful in life, there is a direct comparison to those who do not give.

When we use the word GOALS as an acronym we would readily see;

GO

ACHIVE

LIFE

STYLE

The lifestyle you chose to live can only be accomplished as direct result to the way you give. This then is what we need to examine in the next few pages.

Throughout scripture we find that God has established a pattern of finance for the family.

In this chapter we will see that our vows; are our savings account against the day of trouble. Our alms giving;  brings to the works of our hands prosperity. That tithing;  covers our day to day needs and finally that offerings; are what brings the abundant supply.

We are talking about developing within you the life of the giver, not the life of a user.  Many people do not understand what an offering and a tithe are, nor do they understand alms giving or keeping vows.

“I thought there was only two.  There is only offering and tithing.  Now you’re going to tell me something I already know.  I don’t want to hear it.”

 If that is your attitude, you can close this book and miss God’s blessings.  Your giving determines the success you have in life. It will set you free in your finances.  Your life should be a life of giving.  If you are not a giver, then you are a user.  You can only be one of two.  You need to decide, which one you are going to be.  These areas will work in your life if you apply them properly.

                             VOW

A vow is a solemn promise to God to perform some act or to follow out some line of conduct.  It is also a pledge of faithfulness.  It makes a binding agreement between you and God.  Did you catch that?  It becomes your word to God.  It is a swearing of an oath and it becomes your responsibility to perform your oath.

                        UNDER PRESSURE

You see different ministries today on various media, where they apply stress or pressure.  “You vow this before God and God will do this for you.”  Listen, let me tell you something.  God has already done everything He is going to do for you.  It is done. You cannot buy God. When you make a vow before God, it’s between you and God only, no man has the right nor the power to put you under any stress to make oaths pledges or promise giving to their ministry. What you do is between you and God.

When thou shalt vow a vow unto the Lord thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the  Lord thy God will surely require it of thee;

 and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it should be no sin in thee.         Deut 23: 21,22

When you make a commitment you put your word on the line. It’s your word! What is your word worth?  If it’s worth anything, you will keep your word.  If you don’t put your word on it, then you don’t have to keep it.

If someone said to me, “I’ll be here at such and such a time.” I expect that person to be there.  If they are not, it takes away a bit of their integrity.  That is what these scriptures are saying. Keep your word.  When you make a vow or put your word on something, keep it, or don’t vow.  People will often do that. They put their word on something and they’ve done so out of pressure.

Have you ever made a bargain with God?  Be honest!  I know I did.  “Oh God, if you’ll get me out of this situation, I’ll do this and this and this.” You are lying.  I know it and you know it.  When He gets you out of it, you don’t live up to your word.  Your word is worthless.

I remember having a dozen guys chase me for blocks and blocks.  In those days I was doing some long distance running and was out running them. One guy jumped in a car and began chasing me.  I crawled into the back of another car and lied down on the floor of the back seat.  These guys were all standing around the car and they didn’t see me.  I remember praying, “God, if you get me out of this. I will give my life to you.”  I didn’t, not right then anyway.  I did so later in my life.

We have all said this kind of stuff at one point or another in our lives.  Making bargains with God and then go back on our word.  What did we just read in Deut 23:21,22? When you make a vow, keep your word because if you don’t, it is sin unto you.  It’s your word not someone else’s.

Vow, and pay unto the Lord your God: let all that be round about him bring presents unto him  that ought to be feared. Psalms 76:11

 It is good to make a vow, but again it is something personal.  The Catholic Priests and Nuns make certain vows that they are going to live a certain lifestyle before God. It’s a personal word committed unto God. We are no different. Your word is your word.  Your integrity and honour is on the line and for that reason no one can pressure you.  

Some Churches fund raise and say, “Listen guys, we need this and this.”  If they would trust God for their need they would receive it, instead of placing their eyes on the people and asking them to vow.  “I’ll give so much money every month beyond my tithe to do this and this.” That is wrong!  It is wrong to put pressure on people to give.  It’s not scriptural.  Many preachers won’t like that statement, but too bad!  From Psalms 76:11, they mount big, fund raising campaigns.  The scripture is not saying that.  It says, if you vow, you pay, but it is your vow to God not to man. Again, I must bring up the point that it’s your decision, not someone putting any pressure on you to give.

In 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Every man give as he purposeth in his heart, so  let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for  God loves a cheerful giver”.

It instructs us to give as we have purposed in our heart. Therefore we should realize that if someone places pressure on you then it is not the original intent or purpose that you had in your giving.  To give as you’ve purpose is to be obedient to the Word.  This will provide God pleasure in your giving, giving through pressure does not. No man ever has been the “cheerful giver” when they’ve been place under pressure to give.

When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. Ecc 5:4,5

Now, you can make a vow, and I say it again; it’s between you and God.  You decide.  What you are going to do?  If you decide you want to vow, what does that become.  We are speaking financially.  If you decide you are going to give so much above your tithe, then that becomes an offering. A special offering unto God I like to call it the offering of commitment. You are committing your word, money and lifestyle over to God. It is doing something beyond what God asks and you show yourself committed to the things of God in this form of giving. What do you suppose God is going to do with your commitment? We see in Ephesians that He can do things beyond our highest desires.

Ephesians 3:20 “Now unto Him that is able to do  exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or  think, according to the power the works within  us”.

Never forget that when we commit one hundred percent to God, he’s committed the same to us.

A vow is a faith promise commitment before God, and it is for this reason that God commands that when you vow you should pay. For it should be with a clear mind and honest heart that your vow is given.

Should the Christian vow unto the Lord today?  Yes, every Christian should be seeking God as to what they can do on a consistent basis.

He through the Holy Spirit will reveal unto us as to what we are to do. Then be obedient and follow through with it. God has great love for those who are obedient unto His Word. He will move heaven and earth to see that they live a blessed life.

Isaiah 1:19;”If you willing and obedient, you shall eat the  good of the land”.

If you willing to hear what the Spirit of God is saying unto you in this matter then be obedient to it God will see to that you live in the good of the land.

There is a place that the offering of commitment (vow) brings you to that no other seemingly does. It is a place of moving the hand of God in times of trouble.

Psalms 50:14,15; Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most high: And call upon me in the day of  trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt  glorify me.

The reason for this is that it usually in a time of hardship when someone vows something unto God. God is saying “it is through your praise of me that I will move on your  behalf, and it is through your own fulfilment of your  promise to me that you bring glory unto me”.

It is not unreasonable for you to expect God to move on your behalf when you commit your way unto Him, for it is through the power of the Word that you will be established and it is through your vows that God releases the answer to prayer. This is one area that many Christians  have left behind simply because of the abuse they have taken from unscrupulous leaders and pastors.

By your acquainting yourself with the Word and having a full understanding of the things of the Word you will be able to make and pay vows receiving the answer in your day of trouble.

One final scripture on this topic before we move on to alms giving.

Job 22:21‑28; Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace:  thereby good shall come unto thee. Receive, I pray  thee the law from His mouth, and lay up His words  in thine heart. If thou return to the Almighty,  thou shall be built up, thou shall put away  iniquity far from thy tabernacles. Then shall thou  layup gold as dust and the gold of Ophir as the  stones of the brooks. Yea, the Almighty shall be  thy defence, and thou shalt have plenty of silver.  For then shalt thou have delight in the Almighty,  and shalt lift up thy face unto God. Thou shalt  make thy prayer unto Him and he shall hear thee,  and thou shall pay thy vows. Thou shalt also decree  a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: and  the light shall shine upon thy ways.

Living a life commited to all of what the Word declares including our vows will always produce for us the highest quality of living. Being acquitted with God brings peace, surety, riches (gold & silver in these verses), delight, audience with the Most High, and then He establishes you in all your ways.

         ALMS GIVING

Some people are a little confused of what alms giving is. The Greek word for alms is eleemosune (el‑eh‑ay‑mos‑oo‑nay),  which means compassion, to show compassion upon the poor. When you give alms, you are showing compassion upon the poor.

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand  know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. Matt 6:1‑4

It does not say here that you do not give alms.  That is an important part of our giving, above the tithe. It is not part of the tithe.  It is above it.  The first 10% of your increase belongs to the Lord.  So if you are going to give alms, which is assisting or helping the needs of the poor, it’s above the tithe.  

“Why should I give alms?”

Well, if you’re a smart person, you would have seen in the scripture twice, you have a reward. The Father which sees  in secret shall reward you openly.  Obviously, that means it’s well worthwhile to be helping the poor.  There is something else in there more than just giving to the poor.

“Well, if I gave the poor $600.00 that is seed faith giving. I can believe that it will grow up and become something more than that $600.00, can’t it.”  No, that is not actually true.  Proverbs 19:17 says, He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the  Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him  again.

 If you gave that $600.00 to the poor, you gave it to God. God is not going to be in debt to you or anybody for anything.  He is going to give it back to you.  That is all that scripture is saying there.

                 A REWARD

All we, were the poor, one way or another.  Until you got saved, you were the poor.  You might have been a millionaire. Until you got saved, you were the poor.  Christ had pity on you.  Christ had pity on the poor.  His whole ministry, spiritually, physically and financial was to the poor.

The scriptures are talking specifically about the financially poor in certain areas of their lives.  When you give to the poor there is a reward in it for you.

Let’s look in a couple of places where it talks about that reward. Note that Jesus is speaking this.   

And seek not what ye shall eat, or what ye    shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these thing do the nations of the world  seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have  need of these things.  But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all  these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s  good pleasure to give you the kingdom.  Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide  yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief  approacheth, neither moth corrupteth. For where your treasure is, there will your heart  be also. Luke 12:29‑34

When you give alms, you are setting yourself up for a treasure in heaven.  What’s your treasure?  I have no idea. I have not been there.  I have come to believe that if Jesus Himself said there is a treasure there.  Then there is a treasure.  Think of some treasures that are either buried in the land or the oceans of this world.  They don’t compare with the treasure that Jesus has in store for you, when you give to the poor.  It is part of the ministry of Christ.  To meet the needs of the poor.

                     DO NOT HARDEN YOUR HEART

“Oh, Brother Ron, I know that I can give … I need something now. I can’t wait to get to heaven.  I want to give to the poor, but …”

If there be among you a poor man of one of thy brethren within any of thy gates in thy land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou

shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother:

This command of God is not under the curse of the law. This is how to live your life.  It’s fulfilling what Jesus said.  You will not harden your heart to that poor man.

But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth.

You are to give to him.  Remember what it said in Proverbs.  When you give to him you are giving to God. God will repay you.      

Beware that there be not a thought in thy wicked heart, saying, The seventh year, the year of release, is at hand; and thine eye be evil against thy poor brother, and thou givest him nought; and he cry unto the Lord against thee, and it be sin unto thee. Thou shalt give him, and thine heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him:

Be a cheerful giver.  Freely and not begrudgingly.

because that for this thing

For you operating in alms giving. the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy  works, and in all that thou puttest thine hand  unto. Deut; 15:7‑10

 If you have lack of blessing, check yourself.  Are you giving to the poor?  Are you ministering to the poor?  Are you meeting the needs of the poor?  We need to wake up and realize that the ministry to the poor, is the main reason for the ministry.

 When we minister to the poor, the Word of God says that God will bless you in all that you set your hand to do,  everything. Again, your ministry of alms giving is to the poor.  It is above your tithe.

At the end of three years thou shall bring forth all the tithe of thine increase the same  year, and shalt lay it up within thy gates: And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor  inheritance with thee,) and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which are within thy gates, shall come, and shall eat and be  satisfied; that the Lord thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hand which thou doest.        Deut 14:28,29

The Lord your God may bless you in all that you set your  hand to do.  Underline those words in all.  Giving to the poor and to those who require it, brings upon you the blessing of God, in all that you set your hand to do.  We must understand the reason of giving to the poor.

It must be clearly understood that had the church continued in this area of ministry (some have, most do not) then there would be no need for the welfare systems. The governments of the world would not have a need for as much tax as they demand. Yet the church did not so the government extracts more than what is needful form you and I. We end up paying a tithe unto them beginning at 30% instead of the 10% that God required.

There really is a place that giving to the poor is needful, we should never turn away a poor person. Does that mean that we allow the poor just take anything they demand. No, if they are in true need they will be willing to what is required to help meet their own need. The lazy person, rich or poor, need not look to the church nor the government for support, scripture says “if a man will not work, neither let him eat”. I have no sympathy for the lazy poor person. Work and you may eat.

However the true needy, poor or destitute will find a place always in the heart of God. If God looks after them then He must do it through you and I.

In our church after we tithe (yes even as a church) then we set aside another 10% for assisting in meeting the needs of the poor. It is a good practice, and one pleasing unto God.  It also make the people of the congregation feel good knowing that they help feed some persons this week.

                   OFFERINGS

The way to describe an offering is that it is an act of the free will: for today. In the Old Testament there were all kinds of offerings but we are beyond that. We do not live in the Old Testament any longer.  An offering today is an act of free will to bring pleasure to the Most High God. It is given above the tithe and is usually something of cost.

                        SOMETHING OF COST

And he looked up, and saw the rich men casting  their gifts into the treasury.   Imagine in your mind that picture of Jesus. Your finances are of interest to Jesus. Here, He is sitting right beside the offering. He’s watching people put their money in the treasury.  His interest is in your finances. He is sitting in the synagogue watching.  Picture that scene in your mind … And he looked up and saw the rich men casting their gifts  into the treasury.

And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And he said, of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all:

He is talking to His disciples and those people sitting around him.

For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury  hath cast in all the living that she had.

Luke 21:1‑4

This woman gave everything.  It cost her.  Do you think God is not going to bless that women with Him sitting right there, watching it?  An offering is usually something that costs you something. If it means little to you, it must also mean little to God. Jesus Christ was the highest offering for God gave His very best as offering to you.

And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling

savour. Eph 5:2

Himself!  The highest offering ever possible, He gave Himself to God as a sweetsmelling savour.  That meant it was the highest offering that would please God.

His offering wasn’t to God.  His offering was to you, to you for God.  You have the choice to receive it or reject it.

How do you accept His offering?  What kind of offerings do we give God?  Is your offering costing you something?  Is it done freely and willing?  The scripture says that He walked in love.  Is your offering done through love, or is it done because someone put pressure on you?  Don’t ever give under pressure! Anytime someone applies pressure to the seed, it kills it.  The seed, cannot endure pressure.  Your offering is seed giving, which means it is going to grow for you and produce a return.

By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest standeth daily ministering and  offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice  for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of  God; From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made  his footstool.

What was He expecting?  Expecting His enemies made His footstool.  No!  Jesus had already wiped them out. He was expecting you!  He gave His life for you.  He expects every one of us to except Him.  Then walk on His enemies by taking and using His authority. That is what He was expecting.

For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.         Heb 10:10‑14

The one offering made you perfect.  We really need to examine the offering within ourselves and understanding its power.  God fulfilled the covenant He has with us.  When you bring an offering unto God, you are worshipping the Most High God.

                 THE FIRST OFFERING

And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from  the Lord. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain  brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto  the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his  flock and of the fat thereof.  And the Lord had  respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not  respect.  And Cain was very wroth (Angry), and his countenance fell (he sulked). And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth?  and why is thy countenance fallen?             If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?  and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door.  And unto thee shall be his desire, and                        thou shalt rule over him.            Gen 4:1‑7

God was warning Cain about sin. In verse three, it says, and in the process of time … That meant when Cain and Abel became old enough to believe God, they were to bring God an offering.

Why did God look at Abel’s offering with favour and Cain’s offering with disfavour?  Cain brought the first fruits of his ground. Was there a problem with that?  The ground was cursed.

Do you think that something cursed could bring freedom from the curse?  Of course not.  Cain brought the first fruits of the ground.  He wasn’t bringing the offering.  He was bringing the tithe.  There is a difference.  It was already God’s.  It didn’t cost Cain anything.  He brought the tithe and brought it out of a cursed ground.  Are you getting the point?

We must understand the difference between  offering and tithing.  When you bring your tithe, you make certain declarations before God.  It is already God’s.  When you bring an offering that is above the tithe, you bring it to worship God.  There is a difference in  that. Cain brought the tithe that had already belonged to God.

And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord’s: it is holy unto the Lord. Lev; 27:30

Who said it was the Lord’s?  He did!  Who are we to argue?

Abel did something different.  Abel knew inside there had to be the shedding of blood to make atonement for sin.  He brought the lamb unto God.  There is also an interesting phrase in there as well.  He brought the lamb and the fat  thereof.  Abel brought the finest unto God and he didn’t hold anything back.  He gave it all.  That animal was surely to be the finest one he had.  It cost him something, the animal. Abel knew within him because he learned from Adam and  Eve the Word of God.

“One day we are going to stand free of the curse that we had brought upon ourselves.” Eve thought for sure that it would be one of her sons.  Her joy when Cain was born. “I  gotten a man child from the Lord.” She thought. “Oh boy, this is the guy.”  She put faith into action.  “I’ve gotten a man who is going to crush the head of Satan who deceived me.” She was operating in faith, living under the curse they had brought upon themselves. Teaching the children God’s Word, that in all you do, you live by faith. “I’ve gotten a man.” There is hope in that.  So when they grew, and in the process of time, to bring God an offering that would be acceptable.

Cain brought upon himself dishonour by making an offering that was not acceptable to God.  He knew different.  He knew what belonged to God and what didn’t.  He also knew that the fruit came from a cursed ground.

Abel brought a live animal that shed blood to cover the sin, the curse.  The offering cost him something.

What is the attitude in bringing an offering?  “I’ll just bring my tithe to cover myself.” That is okay. You don’t have to bring an offering unto God.  You don’t have to say vows before God.  You don’t have to take care of the poor in alms giving.  You don’t have to do any of these giving’s.  However, if you don’t, God doesn’t have to bless you either. You can believe for that tithe to grow and it will.  Still you are missing out on a whole lot more in your life by not taking part in the others.

                         WHERE DO I GIVE?

Then there shall be a place which the Lord your God shall choose to cause his name to dwell there; thither shall ye bring all that I command you; your burnt offerings, and your  sacrifices, your tithes, and the heave offering of your hand, and all your choice vows which ye vow unto the Lord:        Deut 12:11

“God, where do I give?”  That is always the big question in people’s minds.  “Where do I give?”  The scripture says that you are to bring it to the place the Lord your God shall  choose to cause his name to dwell.  If the presence of the Lord is not there, don’t bring your tithe, vow, alms and offerings.

Ever listen to some people, “Oh this is the church God has for me.  Nothing ever goes on.  We don’t get fed.  We don’t get taught.  The spirit of God never moves, but he has me there.”  You are so blind and so foolish and so dull-witted. If God has left, then He doesn’t have you there either. You belong where the Spirit of God is moving.  If the Spirit of God has left, so should you.  What are you doing there?

 “Well, we are giving to other ministries.”

 The tithe belongs where you are fed, the church.

 “Yes, but I get fed off the television.”

That is not the church.

“So what do we give to television?”

You give the offerings.

“You mean I can’t divide my tithe?”

 Have you ever seen a broken seed grow?  I haven’t. Dividing your tithe breaks the seed.

And this have ye done again, covering the alter of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with  good will at your hand.   Malachi 2:13

“Oh God, (sob) you just got to help me in this situation. I’m going to bring an offering (sob) and I’m going to give it to you.” (sob)

Does that sound like some of those guys on television? “Yes, give your offerings down here.”

Don’t do it.  They cover the alter with tears and crying, and it says here that God will not receive that.

 “Do you mean that you are not going to receive my offering!” An idiot trying to buy God.  God has laid out certain rules that when you bring your tithe and offerings you do it His way.

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast Dealt  treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Malachi 2:14

Treacherously is the Hebrew word bagad (baw-gad) which means: to act faithlessly, deceitfully, to offend. When you deal treachery with your partner that is not honouring them God will not receive your offering from you. But also when you deal treacherously against your church God will not receive your offering (oh, the church will, but God does not and it is He that causes it to grow). Watch that you deal circumspectly with all those around you including your church.

                  WHO SHALL STAND

Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall  prepare the way before me: and the Lord, when  ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even  the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in:  behold, he shall come, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 3:1

Behold I will send my messenger.  He is talking about Jesus and to the Church of God, the Christians.  This is a prophecy, a foretelling.  I am going to send my messenger and  he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye  seek, shall suddenly come to his temple.  Where is His temple?  You are the temple of God.  Even the messenger of  the covenant, whom ye delight in … Understand where you stand in the covenant of God.  It is the most forceful agreement. If you don’t understand what blood covenants are about you don’t understand the Word of God.

Verse one is a clear reference of the coming of the Lord. Now we have become His temple.  It is our delight to remain within it.  This chapter of Malachi is also for the entire body of Christ.  We have the completion of the covenant of God within ourselves.  Christ Jesus is that completion.  The Lord becomes our happiness, our delight, our joy and pleasure.  He, raptures and gratifies us … that whom we have delight in.

In verses 2‑4 it shows the power of Christ when He returns at His second coming.  Who shall stand at His return?  Those who are His.  Those who have already gone through the purifying and those who have received His Word into their heart.  They become pure as  gold, because of the power of the Holy Spirit working within them.

 But who may abide the day of his coming? And who shall stand when he appeareth? for his is like a refiner’s fire, and like fullers’ soap: And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of  silver: and he shall purify the son of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in  righteousness. And I will come near to you to judgement; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers,  and against the adulterers, and against  false  swearers, and against those that oppress the  hireling in his wages, the widow, and the  fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from  his right, and fear not me, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 3:2‑5

You bring oppression upon people by not meeting their needs. The judgement is against His enemies.

For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.  Malachi 3:6

That is protection.  The Lord changes not.  He keeps His covenant that he made with Isaac, Jacob, Abraham.  Christ said that He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living.  He had a covenant with them.  We have that same covenant.  The covenant He made with Abraham was before the Jewish nation ever existed. We have the inheritance of Abraham.  Part of that covenant though, is our giving and our tithing.

Even from the days of your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them.  Return unto me, and I will return unto you, saith the Lord of hosts.  But ye said,  Wherein shall we return? Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings. Malachi 3:7,8

This is the real cause of the problem in the church.  “I don’t want to do the giving stuff.  It is under the Old Testament and under the law.” Well, we have already mentioned how much Christ did.  One third of Christs ministry dealt with finances.  It is not under the curse.

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour  you out a blessing, that there shall not be room  enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, and he shall not destroy the fruits of your ground; neither shall your vine cast her fruit  before the time in the field, saith the Lord of  hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for ye  shall be a delightsome land, saith the Lord of  hosts.              Malachi 3:10‑12

We are cursed with a curse if we withdraw from our giving. Who cursed you?  Did God curse you?  Is God going around cursing His children?  No. You brought it upon yourself. Satan has laws of withholding, as there are laws of seed time and harvest.  He has laws of withholding.  Satan is there to rob, steal, kill and destroy what you have.  Don’t let him. Become a giver, learn to give.  Don’t live under the curse, live in the blessing.  I, myself, would have the blessings we have just read…. that I will open the windows and pour out a blessing,  there shall not be room enough to receive it. These are same windows that He opened for Noah’s flood.  Enough water poured out upon the earth that Noah sailed around the world for a year. God said, I am going to open the same windows and pour you out a blessing.  There shall not be room enough to receive it.  It is the same windows with water and I’ll take the same windows with blessings.  “Here I am Lord! Start the down pour.  I am ready to receive it.  I’ve been giving my tithes and offerings.  I’ve been giving my alms and vows.”

He qualifies it a bit here.  … bring ye all the tithes  into the storehouse.  Now the offerings are history.  Bring them to the place where I have placed my name so there will be meat in my house.  What does that mean?  So it could fulfil the job that of the ministry that He has set for them to do.  We are all called to do the work of the ministry, to meet the needs of the people.  Take time to study through tithes and offerings, alms and vows.  Every one of them bless. Not only upon the one who receives, but also the one giving.

                  A GIVER OR A TAKER

Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure that ye mete  withal it shall be measured to you again. Luke 6:38

Learn the life of a giver.  Become a giver.  There is no question about it, it shall be given unto you.  Many people quote that scripture and stop at shall men give into your  bosom.  They don’t want to take the rest of the verse, the key part of the verse.  For with the same measure that yea mete withal it shall be measured to you again.  Everything you do in your life should be to give.  There are certain people who have developed a life of giving.  There are certain people who have developed a life of taking.  If you are one of those takers, I suggest you change your pattern and learn to become a giver.  You don’t have money, so what!  This is not just talking about money.  It is speaking of your entire life style.  Prosperity is not just finances.

I have seen people bend over backward for others. Being in a pastoral position, there is much you give that people know nothing about.  You do everything.  You change your schedules.  You go across town to meet with them and they may or may not be there.  Even take someone across town that does not even bother to thank you.  There is a life of a giver and there is a life of a user.  Don’t become the user. Become the giver.  Don’t give because of what the result would be.  Give because you want to be a giver.  The result will come.

When you plant a seed into the ground, you don’t have to  worry about it.  You just know that it is going to grow and produce for you.  Don’t dig it up.  Give it time and it will grow.  Just keep planting.  Keep planting.  Keep planting. God will see to the harvest.

                        HEALING FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED

Luke 4:18-19; (Amplified version)

Today my desire is not only to bring to you a testimony as to what the Lord has done for me but also to bring the anointing of the Lord to heal many of the broken hearted.

It is the broken hearted that are the ones who ever give in and lose in the life of God which is supposed to be very victorious. There are many ways that one may become the broken hearted, such as strife, rejection, sin, abandonment, betrayal, calamity and others.

Isaiah 38:14‑19 Like a crane or a swallow, so did I chatter: I did mourn as a dove: mine eyes fail with looking upward: O LORD, I am oppressed; undertake for me.  15 What shall I say? he hath both spoken unto me, and himself hath done it: I shall go softly all my years in the bitterness of my soul. 16 O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these things is the life of my spirit: so wilt thou recover me, and make me to live. 17 Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back.   18 For the grave cannot praise thee, death can not celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth. 19 The living, the living, he shall praise thee, as I do this day: the father to the children shall make known thy truth.

OPPRESSION **** to burden or keep in subjugation by harsh and (or) unjust use of force or authority; tyrannize. To lie heavy upon physically or mentally; weighted down, depress, dispute. To crush or trample, overwhelm, abuse.

Hebrew **** to distress, afflict, crush, force, hold fast, affliction, unjust gain, cruelty, extortion, something gotten through deceit, slaughter, to drive, tax or tyrannize. To tax is to; burden, encumber, overload, overwork, strain and tire.

Oppressor **** one who drives for taxes or a taskmaster.

2 Timothy 2:22-26  Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strife’s. 24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,  25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; 26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.  

Satan as the oppressor causes his captives to tire, which is; to drain, exhaust, wear down, exasperate, irk and cause to become weary.

Oppression has always been taught as an attack of the mind. In this lesson today I will present to you oppression first’s place of attack, it is not the mind. Oppression will find its way into the mind and thought life of its victim but it no way begins there.

Oppression first and fore most place of attack is the heart of man. If oppression can burden down the heart of man then man will not be capable of rational decision making.  To understand this principal we need to examine the scriptures and view them from what they say not what we think they say. Let’s first look at the word heart, it appears some 830 times in 762 verses as compared to the word mind which appears 95 times in 93 verses. It generally understood as the centre of  man, not just a circulatory muscle.  Hebrews 4:12.

12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

The New Testament Greek word for heart is kardia (kar‑ dee’‑ah) which means the thoughts and feelings. The Hebrew word is lab, and carries the meaning of the feelings, the will, and even the intellect. It is known as the conscious of  man. The heart of man is most simply defined as the centre of man.

Where mans soul and spirit borders is impossible to define. However the word say that it can divide the soul and the spirit, therefore it is most important to be in the Word.                       

If then the heart (not the mind) is the principal place of the thoughts, feeling, will and intellect then we must put a guard around it to prevent the enemy from oppressing it. Proverbs 4:20‑23.

20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. 21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. 22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.  23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. 

So then oppression will put unjust force and burden down its victim, oppression will tyrannize its victim until they become weak in the heart. When they do oppression will lie heavily on its victim in order to crush, trample and overwhelm the victim and lead that one in self abuse as in the case of all who are dependent on anything other than God Himself. This is when the spirit of possession moves in.

I am firmly convinced that both oppression and possession are spirits and make use of all other spirits of Satan to perform their evil work. I am equally convinced that both can work within a person as much as without. Most ministers teach that oppression comes against the person from the outside, yet if it is to attack the heart then it must do its work from the inside as well. It does most of its damage once it is within the person.

The spirit of oppression works very much in the following pattern. First the oppressive spirit working in conjunction with other spirits causes some type of hurt to take place in their victim’s life.  This is usually caused through the person giving the spirits licence through careless speaking.

Once the hurt is established the victim begins to repress the feeling of the hurt instead of dealing with it when it takes place. This (#2) repression is in fact the next spirit to move in. It is a lesser spirit performing its job. The repression cause’s a small crack to appear in the victim’s heart through which all the others enter.

The third spirit working with oppression and repression is, regression. Regression is; the medical term is the subsidence of disease.  The victim slowly gives way to the disease that they are experiencing, first in the heart then in the mind and finally in the body. Through this regression the crack in the heart is now much larger. If the victim will return to the Word and the things of God healing is usually quite easily come by in this stage. If they do not act on the things of God another harsher spirit is usually called in to action, forming the strong hold even harder. Forcing the crack in the heart wider yet.

 The (#4) next spirit stronghold is; suppression, the term means; the deliberate exclusion from the consciousness of any action, emotion, or desire. So then this spirit drives the person to just annul any thought of the hurt, but to annul something is not to heal or even forget it, it is to vacate or make empty and that is exactly what this suppression spirit wants . For if it can make a vacate place in the heart of man then all other spirits can move in. Matthew 12:45

45 Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.

Often the next spirit in the line from oppression is (#5) bitterness.

Once suppression has made a vacate place bitterness  moves in. Through bitterness comes a poison into the person’s life which all who come in contact with choke at the taste of it, except the bitter person themselves.

Turn to Acts 8:20‑24: But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. 21 Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God. 22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. 23 For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity. 24 Then answered Simon, and said, Pray ye to the Lord for me, that none of these things which ye have spoken come upon me.  

“The gall of bitterness” this means poison in your temperament which is sharp and cutting. c\f Ephesians 4:31

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:  

Hebrews 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 

The bitter person becomes unwilling to be close to any using a sharp and cutting tongue to be sure no one and nothing ever gets close to them again. The crack in the heart is now weakening to the point where the strain has the person almost ready to break and become broken-hearted.

Now the next spirit to come on the scene is called, (#6) depression.

The depressed person becomes a lonely person for they seek only the company of themselves and their depression, and yes they do become very possessive of their own demon spirit of depression. This spirit keeps them from associating with other so that he will not be discovered himself. So they become reclusive and withdrawn making their associations with others as brief as possible not wishing discovery.

The depressed person always has themselves in mind and is easily offended when any other seeks to go any other way but theirs. They concentrate totally on self. They choose not to share in others lives and feel others should be inputting into them while of course they reject any outside input. They soon lose the values that life had for them and consider others values as worthless and unfulfilling. They’re mind become weak and passive and they exercise the reasoning process as little as possible. In other words they become unreasonable. Once the depressed person succumbs to depression, the victim is ready for Satan’s next on slot that being (#7) distress.

As the Hebrew word for oppression bears out, oppression purpose is to place the victim in a place of distress. This is; acute or extreme suffering, it is agony, worry, extreme pain, trouble and harassment. The distressed person loses quickly all hope and slip into the grip of the enemy even harder. They suffer so much inward pain that they convince themselves that no cure or help will ease them out. 

This is the group of people who are most likely to commit crimes against themselves and others. Death, murder and suicide often follow after distress. As it’s description says this is acute or extreme suffering, the reason for the suffering being so acute is that this is the final stage before the heart breaks.

Before we examine the final stage turn to Psalms 55. The distressed person is a complainer and his complained is baseless. He complains of:

 Psalm 55:1-23 To the chief Musician on Neginoth, Maschil, A Psalm of David.  Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. 2 Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn in my complaint, and make a noise; 3 Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked: for they cast iniquity upon me, and in wrath they hate me. 4 My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. 5 Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.  6 And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. 7 Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah. 8 I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest. 9  Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues: for I have seen violence and strife in the city. 10 Day and night they go about it upon the walls thereof: mischief also and sorrow are in the midst of it. 11 Wickedness is in the midst thereof: deceit and guile depart not from her streets. 12For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: 13 But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.  14 We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.  15 Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell: for wickedness is in their dwellings, and among them. 16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me. 17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice. 18 He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me. 19 God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.  20 He hath put forth his hands against such as be at peace with him: he hath broken his covenant.  21 The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords. 22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.  23 But thou, O God, shalt bring them down into the pit of destruction: bloody and deceitful men shall not live out half their days; but I will trust in thee.  

A) The voices he hears believing it to the enemy.

B) He complains of his oppressions but does not take any action to defeat the oppressor.

C) He complains about the accusations and the accuser but does not use the Word to defeat him.

D) He complains about the anger and hatred but it’s locked in him.

E) He complains about the condition of his heart feeling helpless to change it.

F) He complains about the terrors of death for his heart is breaking and he knows a broken heart will lead to death.

G) He complains about horror knowing that it is extreme fear and dread and it overwhelms him to no action.

H) The storms (trials) and strong winds (circumstances) of the enemy blow hard against him and he complains.

1) He knows that others speak against him and wag their tongues in gossip because he is so pitiful. He is powerless to defeat the words, for he is in the centre of violence and strife.

J) Wickedness, deceit, guile, and treachery are working against him all spirits of oppression and destruction.

As distress places it’s lock on its victims life the final attack is about to take hold. For if left to do their evil work and distress occurs the crack become a tear the tear become a break.

As one examines this one can readily  see that a person does not become possessed by Satan easily but the fact remains that one can become possessed. This procession works, the fact that the person is a Christian or not has no bearing on Satan. He will do his utmost to take possession of the person in the heart. This is what becomes known as a  broken-hearted person.  

For one to become possessed by Satan he must first oppress the person and that person must give way in the heart to oppression, giving way until the heart breaks. It is necessary to look at meaning of the word possession; to occupy  by  driving out the previous tenants, and possessing their place.  It also means to seize, to rob, to expel, to inherit, to ruin, cast out, consume, destroy, disinherit, to be or made poor, to come to poverty. The broken-hearted is truly a Satanically ruled person.  That’s the bad news.

The good news is Christ Jesus himself, look to Isaiah  61:1-3 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; 3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified, and Luke 4:18.The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the broken-hearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, 19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

It is taught that Jesus quoted Isaiah when speaking however he changed it slightly but that slight change makes all the difference in the world. In Isaiah the verse say “to bind up the broken-hearted”, the word bind here means to wrap firmly or compress, to hold together until healing takes place. If you break a leg you place a splint or cast around the leg to bind it up and keep the bones together. Yet even after the bone mends there is always a weak point. The break will always have a hair line crack in it, it will still show itself in a x-ray years later.

In Luke however Jesus changes the word from bind to heal, meaning; to cure or make whole. If something is whole there are no cracks or faults, the item is entire. Christ is saying “I make you entire”. The broken-hearted before my coming could at the best be held together, now with my coming I make the broken-hearted entire and whole again. Therefore the heart is whole and the enemy has be driven out. You are delivered, whole and free. Possessed by my love.

The broken-hearted must make that love real in their lives. Christ has already healed you from your broken heart by the love and blood He shed for you. Your trust and hope must be in Christ. 

Turn to Romans 8:35‑39, Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,  For thy sake we are killed all the daylong; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All these heart breaking things cannot separate us from the love that is Christ Jesus, meaning, He loves so much that our hearts will not become overwhelmed and break.

Be sure of this however that Satan is out there seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8,8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: ^[i] He cannot devour any who remain in the Word. Turn to 2 Timothy 4:17,

17 Notwithstanding the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me; that by me the preaching might be fully known, and that all the Gentiles might hear: and I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.  In Christ Jesus we have deliverance from the mouth of the lion (Satan).

Job 4:8‑11, Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same. 9 By the blast of God they perish, and by the breath of his nostrils are they consumed.  10 The roaring of the lion, and the voice of the fierce lion, and the teeth of the young lions, are broken. 11 The old lion perisheth for lack of prey, and the stout lion=s whelps are scattered abroad.

Sums it up best. Praise God the lion young or old is defeated.

You with a broken heart there is healing in the Word, there is healing in the name of Jesus and there is healing in the blood of Jesus just come to Jesus for it.

Isaiah 53 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?  2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. 3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.  4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.  

He carried our griefs and sorrows. In the Hebrew the word here for griefs is, “choliy”, it means; malady, anxiety, calamity and disease. Sorrow comes from the word, “makob”, it means; afflictions, pain and sorrow. Through the love that Jesus showed to us, we are healed.

Look to the final verses in this study, Acts 10:38, How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Jesus healed ALL who were oppressed by the devil. You are or can be one of the ALL.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17:  Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, 17 Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work. (KJV)

 MARRIAGE VOWS

We need to begin our marriage through the Word of God. The marriage then begins in success.  Speaking doom and gloom over your marriage, you can expect to have exactly that. Isaiah 55:11 says, so shall my word be that goes forth from  my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall  accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the  thing whereto I sent it.  Having the proper words spoken over your marriage is important.

Here is a couple who have chosen a better way.  They have chosen to give unto God marriage vows that are from the Word of God.  What you declare over the beginning of your marriage makes a difference.

Oneness in Christ Jesus creates the ability to go through all that life has.  This couple have oneness in Christ. The woman was not taken from the head of man so he could lord over her.  Nor was she taken from the feet of man so he could trample on her.  She was taken from the side of man as an equal to man. Taken from under his arm to be protected by him. And close to the heart to be loved by him.

                        THE CHARGE TO THE HUSBAND

Pastor speaks:   ” (Husbands Name)I charge you this day before the Lord God with the keeping of His daughter, to watch over her in your oneness. To love her, cherish her and protect her. To complete her just as she is the completion of you”

                 THE CHARGE TO THE BRIDE

Pastor speaks:  ” (To the women).  Man completes you. You are fulfilled in him.  You are to be an encourager, a lover and a friend. Only oneness in Christ will make this possible.  So, I charge you, (name), with the care and keeping of God’s son.  Watch over him well in your oneness.”

                 THE CHARGE TO THE CONGREGATION

Pastor speaks:   “(To the congregation).  You are also responsible.  These are your brother and sister.  It is your charge to see to it that they never fall.  You are to love, accept and forgive them as they have expressed to one another today.  It is your charge to see to it that they never decrease but ever increase in the Word and fellowship of God and brethren”.

                         Profession by the Man To His Wife

“This day I make a solemn profession before Jesus my Lord and Savoir.  I have received Him.  He has received me.  He has loved me to the giving of His very life.  Then rising from the dead, He defeated Satan so I may be free.  Free to live a life in love, always above every circumstance, giving love freely as I have received it.  For this reason I commit my love and my life to you.

My Lord has accepted me as I am, without any reservation. He has accepted all of what is within me.  Causing Himself to come  through in the areas that I know I may have to improve. This means that He caused me to become fully agreeable to Him, so then I become well pleasing to Him.  For this reason I present myself acceptable to you.

In many areas I have failed, yet through those failings, I am still acceptable to Him.  For His forgiveness covers all of my short comings, failures, and sin.  His forgiveness is completely unreserved and unrestrained.  It is the fulfilment of His love.  Therefore, I am strong in Him and for this reason I present myself as security for you.

For as I have received love, acceptance and forgiveness in all areas of my life, I offer myself to you with love, acceptance and forgiveness.  I love you with the same life giving love that has been given to me.  In every situation, within all circumstances you from this day forth will know you are the loved.

I have accepted you and you are one with me.  In your weakness find strength in me.  In your short comings know that in me you will be complete. You are the accepted, just as you are.

Know too that no matter what we may go through, or what you may do, you are the forgiven.  I choose to offer you forgiveness before it may ever be required for then we have unity in our oneness.  You are the forgiven.

From this day forth, you will know in all areas of your life that you are the loved, accepted and the forgiven.

I commit myself to you as Christ committed Himself to me. I give you my life so we may in all things always be one.”

                        Profession the  Wife gives to Her Husband

“This day I make a solemn profession before Jesus my Lord and my Saviour.  I have received Him.  He has received me. He has loved me to the very giving of His life, then rising from the dead defeated Satan so I might be free.

As you have received me to be one with you, I too receive you.  You are the loved.

I will show you the respect that one who loves as Christ loves is due.  In all, I will show my partially towards you. Seeing Jesus in you, I will always favour you most, as my Saviour has favoured me.  You are the accepted. As the grace of God has in filled my life and equipped me for our future in oneness.   I will show you that same grace. In all, I will express my gratitude toward God for His provision of a man lead by His Spirit.  Joy will be established throughout our home and within our lives, for Jesus has given us His joy, and because we are His joy.

I will find within you my pleasure. You are suited to me and I to you.  We will be liberal to one another in all areas of love, acceptance and forgiveness.

You are precious unto me for it is within you that I see Jesus.  I commit myself to you as Jesus has committed Himself to me.  From this moment forth, you are one with me. Know that from this day forth you are the loved, accepted and the forgiven.”

                        Communion  

Communion should be taken with the couple and the congregation, bringing Jesus into remembrance of what He had paid for on the cross.  The marriage begins with Jesus as the centre.  Taken as often as need be, communion will keep Jesus at the centre and Satan under your feet.

                        The Blessing

Now (Names) if you will have fellowship with God and be faithful unto His management of your life then the Lord God will transform you into a great and mighty people for His name sake.

His blessings shall come unto you, around you and upon you overtaking you in all you perform.

For wherever you may travel you will find God’s blessing and divine favour, you shall be favoured in cites and in the country side.

Your children shall be blessed and great shall be the peace that is upon them.

Your business shall provide ample supply because God has favoured you as a good man who will leave an inheritance to his grandchildren.

You will find that God has favoured your storage places, home cupboards, bank accounts and the greatest storage place of all your heart.

It will occur to you that all your movements and travels will be favoured by the Lord your God whom you love and serve.

When you find yourself favoured when you are faced by those who had only adversary in their plans for you, they will run from you confused and bewildered as to how their plan could have failed.

In your faithfulness and trust of God you will prosper in all that you set your hand to do. This prosperity will fall upon your marriage, home, children and business for the Lord has already authorized and approved it for all who are dependable, reliable and trust worthy with the administering of His Word.

                        Pastor to the Congregation

By the authority placed in me by the Province of Alberta and by the authorization granted to me as a minister of the Word of God and a under shepherd of Jesus Christ’s children I present to you Mr. & Mrs. (Last name).

                       IN CHRIST REALITIES

Within a few day=s we will be celebrating the birth of Jesus, what is it that we celebrate? That is often a question that goes answered only from the point of the experiences that one has had in the past concerning this time of year. Yet, Christmas is not dependent upon the experiences of life, good or bad. Christmas is dependent upon Christ and relationship with Him. Therefore there are certainly realities we must learn to place within our lives in order that we become the overcomers that He intends us to be.

 Revelation 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Your testimony is restricted to the knowledge that you have of Christ Jesus and whether or not you reside within your rights as a born again AChristian@. You cannot overcome the enemy on his grounds you must overcome him on your ground, that ground being Jesus= blood and Christ as the anointed one residing in you.

If you are born again then you qualify for the life of the overcomer  John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Salvation is a free gift to all would receive it, yet as many have chosen salvation; most walk not in the rights that salvation brings. It is those rights that Jesus as the Christ also died, shed His blood then rose again so that His anointing may never cease in the life of the one who has excepted Him.

Just as receiving salvation comes through the confession of mouth fuelled by the faith of the heart. The anointing of Jesus also comes in your life the same way.  Romans 10:9-10 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

We must first understand what salvation means to us in order that we can believe it and make it a reality within our heart so that we may be able to confess it.

                                SALVATION

Salvation is the Greek word sozo which means: to deliver, to preserve, to be safe, to make whole, to have health, to prosper.  It is freedom from the molestations of the enemy in all areas of life. To exercise this kind of salvation we must continually be speaking forth it=s realities into our lives.

A reality is not something that is manifest in our life but rather it is the truth and it is the final result as seen by God, who see=s it without limitation. Therefore if salvation is the truth according to  what God see=s and say=s we must except it and place that truth into our life. From God=s view point everything He says you are, you are, everything He say=s you have, you have, everything He says you can do, you do. From God=s view point the anointing that Jesus had upon Himself you have, the exact same anointing is upon you. For what purpose? So that you may be free from the molestations of the enemy.  Isaiah 10:27 And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing. 

Whatever becomes a burden, whatever becomes a yoke is something that molests you, and therefore it=s power is broken because of the anointing of Jesus. That anointing flowing through you from Jesus the anointed one.

Know that all harassment, disturbances, trouble, plague, torment, attack, hector (torture, persecution, or badgering) any amount of harrying (to harass, torture or annoy by constant and repeated attacks, to ravage, any attempt to devastate) are all types of molestation by the enemy in order to induce his burdens and yokes upon your life. The anointing of Jesus operated through you breaks them all.

                                   ABIDING

It for this reason that we must quickly learn that our lives must find a place of abiding in Him. Kenneth Weust gives us the revelation of this in John 15:1-8 from his translation of the New Testament: I, in contradistinction to anyone else, am the vine, the genuine vine, and my Father is the tiller of the soil. Every branch in me not bearing fruit He takes away. And every branch bearing fruit, He cleanses it in order that it may keep bearing more fruit. As for you, already you are cleansed ones because of the word which I have spoken to you. Maintain a living communion with me and I with you. Just as the branch is unable to be bearing fruit from itself as a source unless it remains in a living union with the vine, so neither you, unless you maintain a living union with me.

As for me, I am the vine. As for you, you are the branches. He who maintains a living communion with me and I with Him, this one is bearing much fruit, because apart from me you are not able to be doing anything. If anyone is not maintaining a living communion with me, he is thrown outside as the branch is and was caused to wither. And they gather them and into the fire they throw them, and they are burned. If you maintain a living communion with me and my words are at home in you, I command you to ask at once, something for yourself, whatever your heart desires, and it will become yours. In this my Father is glorified, namely, that you are bearing much fruit.

There more than 100 expressions found in the Testament such as AIn Him@, AThrough Him@, ABy Him@, AIn Christ@ and AThrough whom@ which when studied with due diligence will cause you always to remain in Him having that Living communion.

                                    IN HIM

Romans 3:24, In Him we have redemption.

Romans 8:1, In Him there is no condemnation.

Romans 8:2, In Him is freedom from sin and death.

Romans 8:39,  In Him is perfected love.

Romans 12:5,  In Him is oneness.

1 Corinthians 1:2,  In Him is sanctification.

1 Corinthians 1:30, In Him is wisdom, righteousness and sanctification.

2 Corinthians 2:14, In Him is triumph over the enemy.

2 Corinthians 5;17, In Him old things die away.

Ephesians 1:3, In Him are all spiritual blessings.

Ephesians 2:6, In Him we are seated in heavenly places.

1 Thessalonians 5:18, In Him is God=s will for you.

                                    THROUGH HIM

John 3:17,Through Him we have salvation.

Romans 5:9,Through Him we are spared from wrath.

Romans 8:37,Through Him we are more than conquerors.

Romans 11:36, Through Him all things have their existence.

Ephesians 2:18,Through Him we access to the Father.

1 John 4:9,Through Him we have life.

                                    BY HIM

Luke 5:15, All infirmities are healed by Him.

Luke 13:17 All that is glorious is done by Him.

John 1:3 All things were made by Him.

Acts 3:16 By Him is prefect soundness through faith.

Acts 4:10 By Him is wholeness.

Acts 13:39 By Him all that believe are justified.

1 Corinthians 1:5 Enrichment in everything is by Him.

Colossians 1:16 By Him were all things created.

Colossians 1:17 By Him all things consist. (To be made up of).

                                 IN CHRIST

Romans 3:24 Redemption is in Christ.

Romans 8:1 There is no condemnation in Christ.

Romans 8:2 The law of the Spirit of life is in Christ.

Romans 12:5 We are one body with Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:30 Christ is wisdom, righteousness, and sanctification to all that are in Him.

1 Corinthians All hope is in Christ.

1 Corinthians 15:22 All are made alive in Christ.

2 Corinthians 1:21 The anointing and establishment of the anointing of God is found in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 The ability to become totally new is in Christ.

Galatians 2:4 There is liberty in Christ.

Ephesians 1:3 All spiritual blessing are in Christ.

Ephesians 2:13 You are brought near to God because of the blood of Christ.

Ephesians 3:16 You partake in the promises of Christ through His gospel.

Colossians 1:28 Perfection is obtainable in Christ.