Freedom From Despair & Depression

hope-despair-5777526Ephesians 2:1‑10 (NIV)  As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  

In a world where more of the people are giving up and giving in there must come a time of freedom.  All around there seemingly is no hope.  More companies are failing than any other time in history, more layoff s occurring enemas than any other time in modern history.  Less funds for the necessities of life, forget the more pleasant items.  Everywhere we turn there seems that none have the answers. Despair, despair, despair all around, and the sinking feeling takes deeper hold on you.  So what does one do?

First understand what you are dealing with.  The dictionary defines despair as: to lose or abandon hope; be or  become hopeless, utter hopelessness and discouragement.  Despair, desperation, despondency, and hopelessness.

Despair, desperation, despondency, and hopelessness are the controlling spirits found in most people today. These four spirits work together to be sure that the will of Satan is carried out. We read in John 10:10, that Satan will come to kill, steal and destroy. Despair, desperation, despondency, and hopelessness are the four major spirits that fulfil such an order.  If they can get a person to operate only one of  these “emotions” then the other three will move in quickly to trap that individual.

Prolonged frustration is the seed of despair, frustration is: to make plans that are worthless and of no avail, to disappoint or thwart (baffle or obstruct), to do something in vain. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”. N.I.V.

We said that the four major spirits that work together are: despair, desperation, despondency and hopelessness. Now let’s give a definition’s of each of these.

Despair is the utter abandonment of hope that leaves the mind apathetic (callous, cold‑blooded, nonchalant) and numb”. Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,  because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a] 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendour. Here we learn much regarding despair, first it is a spirit, as stated here. The KJV calls it a “spirit of heaviness” and is exactly what the spirit wants to do, bring burdensome oppressive weight, a persisting sadness, a complete lack of hope and joy. Despair is a spirit that will cause even the smallest situation seem to great to overcome. It is the driving spirit behind thoughts of suicide, the intent of all evil spirits is that of taking of life.

It becomes an absolute rule that we recognize this as a spirit and not just some feeling or emotion, the word translated as spirit here is “ruwach” this is the same word used for all spirit lives and beings including God as seen in the first line of the verse. The Spirit of God is the deliverance one requires for the spirit of despair. Despair is often assisted (like all spirits) by other attacking spirits.

“Desperation is energized despair, vigorous in action and reckless of consequences” found mostly on the lips of those under attack as they speak words that only fuel’s their despair, words carry power and words of evil carry evil power. Desperation gains all its power by the spoken word. We see its downfall by our speaking other words, those are the praises of the Lord.   Job 6:25-27 (KJV)  How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove? 26 Do ye imagine to reprove words, and the speeches of one that is desperate, which are as wind? 27 Yea, ye overwhelm the fatherless, and ye dig a pit for your friend.

“Despondency is paralysing despair coupled with deep sorrow or chagrin (affliction)”.  Despondency is the dejection of spirit from loss of hope.  Yet as in Isaiah 61 the answer to the loss of hope within the soul is found in praising the Lord. Psalms 42:5‑11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. 6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.8 Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.9 I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me; while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

“Hopelessness is the absences or loss of desire, expectations, assurance, belief, or trust”.  Lamentations 3:18‑26 And I said, My strength and my hope is perished from the Lord: 19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. 20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. 21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

Mans answer to fight despair is to place despairs victim upon a drug, these drugs do not rid one of the despair the drug only suppresses what the spirit is attempting to do, look at just some of the drugs given (often in combination) and notice the side effects of them. Drugs are not God’s answer to attacking evil spirits.

Anafranil, Adapin, , Aventyl, Elavil, Endep, Norpramin, Pamelor, Pertofrane, Sinequan, , Surmontil, Tofranil, Vivactil, Zonalon

These medicines are tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) which work by increasing the available amount of serotonin and/or norepinephrine in the brain. Dry mouth, blurred vision, increased fatigue and sleepiness, weight gain, muscle twitching (tremors), constipation, bladder problems such as urine retention, dizziness, daytime drowsiness, increased heart rate, sexual problems.

Emsam, Eldepryl, Nardil, Marplan, Parnate, Zelapar

Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) increase the amount of norepinephrine and serotonin in the brain. One must avoid certain foods and medications to avoid dangerous interactions.

Serious side effects may include: headache, heart racing, chest pain, neck stiffness, nausea and vomiting. If you experience any of these symptoms, seek medical care immediately.

Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, Pexeva, Prozac, Sarafem, Zoloft

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, work by increasing the functioning of serotonin, a neurotransmitter found in the brain. Sexual problems including low sex drive or inability to have an orgasm are common but reversible, dizziness, headaches, nausea right after a dose, insomnia, feeling jittery.

Aplenzin, Budeprion, Buproban Forfivo, Wellbutrin

These contain bupropion, which may increase the amounts of the neurotransmitters norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain. Expect to experience weight loss, decreased appetite, restlessness, insomnia, anxiety, tremor, constipation, dry mouth, diarrhea, dizziness, seizures.

Cymbalta, Effexor, Fetzima, Khedezla, Pristiq

These drugs increase the levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine in the brain.Drowsiness, blurred vision, lightheadedness, strange dreams, constipation, fever/chills, headache, increased or decreased appetite, tremor, dry mouth, nausea.

Remeron can be sedating and cause weight gain. Cymbalta may increase sweating and blood pressure and also cause fatigue and reduced energy.

Desyrel Ludiomil, Oleptro

These drugs block various neurotransmitter chemicals including serotonin or dopamine. Desyrel and Oleptro may cause drowsiness, fatigue, tremor, headache, dry mouth, nausea, and vomiting.

Ludiomil may cause headache, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, daytime sleepiness, and sweating.

When you consider the power of the spoken word of God against the spirit of despair and the promise of freedom from or the use of mans way of just suppression why would anyone choose the drug over the Lord? The worlds solution to the enemies attack is drugs the solution that Jesus gives is Himself, trusting in Him to provide the freedom one requires is the only true solutions, look at His words John 16:33 (AMP)  I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

Satan works so that all men might come under the control of these most destructive of spirits.  When despair is operating to its fullest, it will usually drive its prey into isolation, self pity, bitterness, envy, jealousy, and if left alone destruction of the one possessed.

Suicide is often the work of despair.  Yet this spirit is usually not content in destroying the possessed one alone, it will attempt to destroy others along with the possessed one. Therefore murder is not uncommon with this spirit.

Despair, (it should go without saying) is one of the most difficult spirits to leave a person.  The reason for this is that despair is controlled by a ruling spirit of old, called unbelief.

 Unbelief of course is a whispering spirit that attempts to convince its prey of the opposite to the Word of God. Unbelief never gives or has a valid argument when creating its doubt; it doesn’t feel it needs one. “That’s just the way it is” unbelief cries.  Regardless of what the Word may say.

Unbelief convinces the prey that what the person is hearing from the Word is not so.  Then the prey is absolutely sure that nothing will change the situation, then they will begin to operate in yet another spirit “fear”. Together fear and unbelief will set the stage for despair to enter along with its three cohorts. Regardless of the promise of Christ that we may live a life in perfected peace, unbelief will whisper it destructive lies in an effort to establish the lie as the ruling principle of one’s life. John 14: (AMP) Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

Like all spirits whether rulers or not, these will always deny that fact the Jesus is ruler over them.  Yet at His name they must bow their knee and release the prey from their clutches.  These more than any other spirits want to see something, the death and destruction of its victim. These are the “show me then I’ll believe” spirits.  The further down one is pulled within these then the more they want to see to pull them out.  These are the spirits of inactivity.  They will attempt to convince the prey not to take any action until they are absolutely sure. Which, of course, they never are.

These spirits are the “me” spirits.  They often convince their prey to focus only on themselves.  When in fact if they would take their eyes off self they could then grasp the problem and begin to repair the damage that has been created. We see in Isaiah 61 the instruction to put on the “garment of praise”, a covering, praise will focus you upon the one who will bring freedom, in praise no evil spirit can stand or withstand the effects of the Word spoken forth. We know King David had many battles against many enemies seen and unseen yet his life was always an example of praise, he found every answer he needed when he just put on praise as his covering. 1 Chronicles 29:9-11 (AMP) Then the people rejoiced because these had given willingly, for with a whole and blameless heart they had offered freely to the Lord. King David also rejoiced greatly.10 Therefore David blessed the Lord before all the assembly and said, Be praised, adored, and thanked, O Lord, the God of Israel our [forefather], forever and ever. 11 Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and the earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and Yours it is to be exalted as Head over all. When we see God (like David did) in everything then everything conforms to Him and His Word, no spirit hat contrary to that Word can last long within the lives of the one under attack. When we focus on “me” we will lose every time, when we focus on Him we win every time.

So when all these spirits are holding one in bondage, can there be any possible freedom?  Of course the answer is yes.  Despair need not take the person down.  He or she can take despair down and even have restored all that may have been stolen. The destruction of despair (and any other evil spirit) lies within the praise we have covered ourselves with, here are some examples of that praise, notice the focus is always on the Lord:

Psalm 18:46 The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.

Psalm 28:6 Blessed be the LORD, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications.

Psalm 31:21 Blessed be the LORD: for he hath shewed me his marvellous kindness in a strong city.

Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD; and the people whom he hath chosen for his own inheritance.

Psalm 68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.

Psalm 72:18 Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, who only doeth wondrous things.

This then is the first rule in bringing down despair. Get the person to agree that there is no greater power than that of the Word of God voiced through praise of God. Look again at what the blessings of praise brings, salvation (sozo, all encompassing life,) being heard by the Lord, seeing marvellous solutions to my problems, being chosen to receive an inheritance of life in victory, being loaded daily with His benefits, seeing wondrous things (or the answer to our problems).  In praise we see the truth of the Word and the revelation of the lies of Satan, when we see that God cannot lie we will gain victory over unbelief.  They then focus on the WORD and create within themselves a system of belief, trusting in a God who can, and who will not leave or forsake them Hebrews 13:5b. (AMP) for He [God] [b]Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor [c]give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [d][I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor [e]let [you] down ([f]relax My hold on you)! [[g]Assuredly not!] When God’s support and hold upon you is established you will then seek relief from other areas that despair has held you in bondage to. Despair will not be long in going.

When despair is driven out by the force of God’s Word coupled with the Name and Blood of Jesus then it must be replaced.  The most powerful weapon of God to replace despair is hope.  Hope creates and regenerates in one the desire for life.  Hope gives the person the ability to see that nothing is as bad as it may appear.

Look at the following scripture verses, use them as a foundation of praise that you may build yourself up into the creation of hope within your soul ad spirit; Psalm 16:8‑11, (AMP) I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.9 Therefore my heart is glad and my glory [my inner self] rejoices; my body too shall rest and confidently dwell in safety,10 For You will not abandon me to Sheol (the place of the dead), neither will You suffer Your holy one [Holy One] to see corruption.11 You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 31:24 (AMP) Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord!,  

 Proverbs 13:12 (AMP)  Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.

 Jeremiah 17:7-8 (AMP) [Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, and relies on the Lord, and whose hope and confidence the Lord is. 8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see and fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious and full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit.

 Romans 4:18 (AMP)[For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been promised, So [numberless] shall your descendants be, 5:1‑5, Therefore, since we are justified ([a]acquitted, declared righteous, and given a right standing with God) through faith, let us [grasp the fact that we] have [the peace of reconciliation to hold and to [b]enjoy] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). 2 Through Him also we have [our] access (entrance, introduction) by faith into this grace (state of God’s favor) in which we [firmly and safely] stand. And let us rejoice and exult in our hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God.3 Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.4 And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of [c]character (approved faith and [d]tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] [e]joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.5 Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.15:13, 13 May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.

 Ephesians 1:17-23 (AMP) [For I always pray to] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that He may grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation [of insight into mysteries and secrets] in the [deep and intimate] knowledge of Him,18 By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints (His set-apart ones),19 And [so that you can know and understand] what is the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His power in and for us who believe, as demonstrated in the working of His mighty strength,20 Which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His [own] right hand in the heavenly [places],21 Far above all rule and authority and power and dominion and every name that is named [above every title that can be conferred], not only in this age and in this world, but also in the age and the world which are to come.22 And He has put all things under His feet and has appointed Him the universal and supreme Head of the church [a headship exercised throughout the church],23 Which is His body, the fullness of Him Who fills all in all [for in that body lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete, and Who fills everything everywhere with Himself].

 Now back to our introductory text, this time from the Amplified Version,  Ephesians 2:1‑10. And you [He made alive], when you were dead (slain) by [your] trespasses and sins2 In which at one time you walked [habitually]. You were following the course and fashion of this world [were under the sway of the tendency of this present age], following the prince of the power of the air. [You were obedient to and under the control of] the [demon] spirit that still constantly works in the sons of disobedience [the careless, the rebellious, and the unbelieving, who go against the purposes of God].3 Among these we as well as you once lived and conducted ourselves in the passions of our flesh [our behavior governed by our corrupt and sensual nature], obeying the impulses of the flesh and the thoughts of the mind [our cravings dictated by our senses and our dark imaginings]. We were then by nature children of [God’s] wrath and heirs of [His] indignation, like the rest of mankind.4 But God—so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us,5 Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved ([a]delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation).6 And He raised us up together with Him and made us sit down together [giving us [b]joint seating with Him] in the heavenly sphere [by virtue of our being] in Christ Jesus (the Messiah, the Anointed One).7 He did this that He might clearly demonstrate through the ages to come the immeasurable (limitless, surpassing) riches of His free grace (His unmerited favor) in [His] kindness and goodness of heart toward us in Christ Jesus.8 For it is by free grace (God’s unmerited favor) that you are saved ([c]delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God;9 Not because of works [not the fulfillment of the Law’s demands], lest any man should boast. [It is not the result of what anyone can possibly do, so no one can pride himself in it or take glory to himself.]10 For we are God’s [own] handiwork (His workmanship), [d]recreated in Christ Jesus, [born anew] that we may do those good works which God predestined (planned beforehand) for us [taking paths which He prepared ahead of time], that we should walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live].

Here we find that God has given us the equipment to defeat despair, desperation, despondency and hopelessness.

A) Verse 1&5, We find that we are quickened from the dead. All too often the spirit of death will attach itself to the person suffering from these spirits. However the Word gives us assurance that we need not to worry (which is to worship Satan). To be quickened is to be made alive in Christ Jesus. To be granted the kind of life that He lives. He does not despair over anything.

 B) Verse 4, We are the loved, there is no greater defence against the power of despair than that of the power of love.For even in the lowest moments of our lives love, God’s love will carry us through.

C) Verse 5,8&9, Despair learns that we have no need of it for we are the Here we see the Greek word Sozo which means to: deliver, protect, heal, preserve and prosper. When we are saved from despair, God delivers us, and then sets a protection around us. He heals us from all the hurt and anxiety. He preserves us from the attacks of the enemy and he prospers us into His plans.

D) Verse 6&10, Sometime when despair appears to be overcoming us, we need to sit down and discuss the problem with someone who really cares for us. Not only cares but also has the answer that we need. No greater Comforter is there than God. He not only wants us to tell Him, but He has made us to sit down with Him and give Him the problem that despair has created. He’ll do away with it. Here we can remind Him of what He has promised, what His Word declares we are in Him and how He has promised us to be free from such attacks.

E) Verse 10, We are created in Christ, the word workmanship means Nothing God ever put His hands to could be any better than YOU. He foresaw all that you would require to make it in life and then gave you much more when He gave you Jesus. Why despair, you are created in His image after His likeness. He has yet to fail, so why should you.

F) The blood of Jesus covers every pain and sorrow that despair has ever given any‑one. If we will apply that blood and plead it (as our answer to despair) we will always overcome. To be nigh to Jesus is to be close to Him, we stay close by living a life of prayer, praise and study of His word. Then going forth and speaking it and putting it into action.

Where God is in action, Satan is in reaction. Satan’s only reaction to the Blood, Word and Name of Jesus is to flee in desperation. “Desperation is energized despair, vigorous in action and reckless of consequences”. Those reckless consequences are the damage he does to himself as he departs from those who use the power of God by His Word, His Name and His Blood.


2 Corinthians 1:8-10, (AMP) For we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about the affliction and oppressing distress which befell us in [the province of] Asia, how we were so utterly and unbearably weighed down and crushed that we despaired even of life [itself].9 Indeed, we felt within ourselves that we had received the [very] sentence of death, but that was to keep us from trusting in and depending on ourselves instead of on God Who raises the dead.10 [For it is He] Who rescued and saved us from such a perilous death, and He will still rescue and save us; in and on Him we have set our hope (our joyful and confident expectation) that He will again deliver us [from danger and destruction and [a]draw us to Himself], Here we find that Paul is undergoing much of the symptoms of despair because of his Asia journey. Paul suffered with hopelessness even to believing that death was his only way out. Paul thought he was sentenced to death or so this scripture reads, yet it is not what it says, for the actual Greek word for sentence is answer, and so Pauls is saying the answer to death is not despair but something much greater. What is that something, TRUST GOD, the answer to despair, is to trust God. He will bring you through and cause you to be victorious. Philippians 4:6-8 (AMP) Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition ([a]definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.7 And God’s peace [shall be yours, that [b]tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall [c]garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.8 For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].


1 Comment

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One response to “Freedom From Despair & Depression

  1. atlene

    I am sorry this happened to U…..And I hope it all works out for U. I myself have being in the same situation. The only thing I can say is this, I pray God will give U the strength to move on. Like U I trusted in a person and that was my big mistake. Without anything in writing U don’t have a leg to stand on. It
    took me about 8 to 10 years to recover from that lost. Don’t let it eat U up, cast that care on the Lord because He cares and loves U. To tell U the truth
    I had murder in my heart towards that person. And it cost my family members much suffering. But thank God I got Born-again and God healed
    my heart from all that hate. At this time in my life I don’t hate this person anymore I feel sorry for them. Jesus said, what will it profit a man, if he shall
    gain the whole world, and lose his own soul. This so call partner is a muslim
    and he told me that he will die a muslim. If I look at it money wise that was
    in 1980 and I lost about 2 hundred and 80 thousand dollars.

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