We have all heard the quotes “honesty is the best policy” or “walk the talk” however, at times our policies are too self centered and the honesty is to oneself only, or the talk is so foul that even the speaker wouldn’t dare attempt to walk it. The life free from a broken heart must be one of integrity. Policies that cannot be adhered to, will be broken, speech that causes one to stumble from integrity is not worth voicing. The walk is about honesty and therefore it is about trust, trusting in our word so that others may trust in ourselves.
Let’s just look at the definition of trust before we proceed:
1) reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2) confident expectation of something; hope.
3) confidence in the certainty of future
4) a person on whom or thing on which one relies:
5) the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
6) the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed:
So then simply put, trust is the combination of the only two things a person actually owns, your name and your word. The breaking of either destroys the other and dissolves all trust, sows doubt and brings disappointment, pain and betrayal to the circumstances in life and will rob you of your joy.
Every relationship requires a high level of trust to flourish, when that trust is broken a withering process takes place and if not acted quickly upon to bring restoration the trust will become destroyed and the betrayer of that trust has broken a part of the implied agreement that forms their relationship. The loss of trust means the loss of safety, security, respect, love and friendship these should be too valuable to anyone to gamble with them. As we break trust we infuse into a relationship (that once may have been great) anger, insecurity, anxiety and fear, the betrayer of the trust goes quickly from companion to friend, from friend to acquaintance, from an acquaintance to a stranger and soon there is no relationship whatsoever all, they can no longer be trusted. Their word is worthless, their name becomes abhorrent. As soon as another speaks their name thoughts of evil and anger flood into our mind, a name once thought of in glowing auras now is considered in malevolence. Those two possessions, no longer have value.
Trust between spouses, with parents and children, employers and employees with friends and even with animals is based strictly upon our word and the action we place behind those words. You cannot build a relationship or operate effectively in the absence of trust. Trust is not a product, a service or some kind of good, trust is not something to be dismissed as futile or immaterial. Trust is the keystone of every relationship. “Mark 3:25 (KJV) And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Houses of any name or type when they become divided fall and fail because of the loss of trust.
Trust is lost for a host of reasons and attempting to reasoning it out may be an exercise in futility, energy must be spent in the attempts of repairing that trust, if in fact, it can be repaired. In order to repair it we must trust again, not in oneself or in the one by whom you have been betrayed, but with God, “Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Healing for any hurt, or any forgiveness required that needs to be applied, can only proceed from God, He is the only one with whom our trust can be repaired and even replaced. Our minds are screaming “no” I will never trust that person again, but that is our understanding talking to our minds loudly and forcibly, the scripture says do not lean upon that understanding for it will not support you, you will fall. Take those thoughts and give them to God He knows how to heal you and bring wholeness to your heart and mind.
We tend to think thoughts that are unhealthy while we hurt, our thoughts tend to be destructive and are not healthy so we must not depend upon those thoughts, but turn them over to God and allow His thoughts and actions to lead us in ours. “Isaiah 55:8-12 (KJV) For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.” By allowing God to take charge of the hurt and wounded heart we see that trust is restored, healing comes, a washing of the hurting heart is completed so that a need is met and the result is the restortation of our joy.
None of us may fain innocence, we all have broken trust with another, intentionally or not we all stand guilty of the destruction of anothers trust. Therefore, we all must work toward restoration of that trust, capturing the good will of our name and hence the value of our word. So what do we do, what action must we take to bring repair and restorations to the hearts and minds of those with whom we have broken trust.
1) Understand a violation has occurred. Regardless of how minor we may view the breach of trust, it is with those whom that breach has occurred that really matter, we may see it small, they see it great, look at it from their point of view and do all you can in your power to repair it. Find common ground to build upon, spoken assurances will only matter when your actions show that your trust can once again be relied upon. Forgiveness always begins with a willingness to trust again. Forward is but trust in action.
2) “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Maya Angelou. We are human and as such we will make mistakes, the quicker we repair those mistakes the less likely our trust will be destroyed. If we act not upon our hurting heart the break will fester and soon become infected with anger and resentment and trust is destroyed. Forgiveness is never about being right but rather in doing right, Kenneth Copeland, “Do what is right, do it because it is right, then do it right” this is trust in action. When trust is broken it requires the action of righteousness to keep one going forward. Righteousness is not just being right, but more powerfully, it is the action of walking right. Look to the politician, they say what is right, but walk in deception, none trust the politician because they do not walk in righteousness. To walk in righteousness is to allow people to make mistakes, then as they do, we lift them up and lead them in a way in which trust remains. People take risks, they make mistakes, why they even have differing opinions, righteousness, helps you to overcome their errors and allows you to compromise with them while in the midst of conflict. This is called “grace” which always finds a way through. “Psalm 28:7 (KJV) The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.”
Are you willing to walk away or will you look for a small grain of grace and hold on. Grace loves, grace builds, grace forgives, grace encourages, grace restores. God had lost trust in man and was ready to destroy the entire world for that loss of trust, yet one man, weak, imperfect, bold and brash still found grace in the eyes of the Lord and the world was saved from sure destruction. The ability for God to trust Noah was accounted to Noah as grace and so the world was saved. Your world too may be shaken, but apply trust and grace will bring restoration.
Trust is the author of patience, trust will wait, for what has been spoken surely will take place. Trust painted with time sees a work of the heart completed.
Trust and integrity are twins, for without one the other cannot be. As an employer, many are the times people have offered to work for cash, “just keep it off the books” they say, that way neither employer or employee pay the government the taxes due. We on the other hand, expect that the government does all they say they will do for us, yet without the funds they cannot and quickly the debt grows. Cheating the government seems like a small thing yet it shows a person’s integrity and the fact that they are not trustworthy. ”Mark 12:17 King James Version (KJV) And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him.” Here we see that it is a person of integrity that earns the trust, by simply doing the right thing then God can work through him/her. Trials and judgments should not sway your integrity, stand firm through what the world and the devil may throw at your integrity. You will see that trust will carry you through. God sees that doing right in even the smallest things is part of who you are, a person grounded in integrity and therefore one whom is trustworthy and trusting. “Psalm 26:1 (KJV) Judge me, O Lord; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the Lord; therefore I shall not slide.” The government may not see our lack of integrity or trustworthiness but God does and our reward is in God and not the government.
We pay the government to do that which the church has not done, therefore we must show integrity so the Lord may bring His blessing upon us. “Deuteronomy 10:16-19 Amplified Bible (AMP) So circumcise [that is, remove sin from] your heart, and be stiff-necked (stubborn, obstinate) no longer. 17 For the Lord your [a]God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, the awesome God who does not show [b]partiality nor take a bribe. 18 He [c]executes justice for the orphan and the widow, and [d]shows His love for the stranger (resident alien, foreigner) by giving him food and clothing. 19 Therefore, show your love for the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” The person of integrity shows it, from a good heart, here we see the reason we should tithe, but as the people of the church do not tithe (only 17% of the church does) the government must step in to do this work and they demand from us much more than the tithe. So a person of integrity would not do that which may harm another and to cheat the government surely brings harm to others. Give what belongs to the government and that to which belongs to God, tithes and alms so both may work freely on your behalf. “Matthew 6:1-4 (KJV) Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”
“The essence of trust is not found in its bind, but in its bond” There are four factors that seal the bond of trust, but before we see those lets look at in the bind of trust. Think of it as a string tied around the heart, sure it is together, but the hurt is still there. Have younever cut yourself badly enough to require stitches, after that thread was removed, there was still a scar that reminds you of the injury. The same holds true when we bind our hearts in trust, we want a whole heart, not just the ones which are tied together, yet, even that is better than a heart that has completely lost trust in all. The bond of trust however is so much more.
Look at BOND as an acronym:
Trust is first believable, it keeps confidence, it is honest and sincere. It is believable because it will not lie, it can lie but it will not.
Trust is objective, it resolves problems, develop the skills required to gain confidence, it will do the right things just because it is the right thing.
Trust is nourishing, its goal is to see a life is growing in faith, sustained by what is good and never brought down by an action that will hurt, it becomes strong as it is rooted in integrity. It listens well, praises others, encouraging them to move forward, it shows you completely as who you are and says “discard my weaknesses and draw from my strengths.
Trust is dependable, your word is everything, you will fulfill whatever you say even if you are placed at a disadvantage, you are your word. You are responsible, consistent and what’s more, you are accountable. You are on time, every time.
So when its all done, your word is your bond, you can trust that.